dreamer...♥just a dreamerღ

03- 04- 2009*4월 3일 2009년

2009-04-06T00:44:00.000+08:00

The following below is dedicated to ETKX/ CCXL:

I <3>

Does some of my colleagues not like me? How come I can often feel negativity generating from the same person. That same person who is somehow trying to help me at the same time! She tells me like the right things to do, tells me how not to irritate my seniors so they don’t report my bad points to my manager and teaches me how to do things. Nonetheless, I can almost test the detest she has for me at times! Is it because I’m LAME or I just like to crack jokes? Or I’m childish and whatnots?

My manager isn’t that nice a person! She said something bad about my colleague at work today with my friend present at the scene of “crime”. Like hello!? You don’t do that to someone that works for you, so what if you’re our “upstairs”? Big deal? We can be more successful and in the end YOU might be serving us if we actually decide to go buy JC items. I’ll so buy CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN shoes O-K, he’s been my favoured brand over JCs even after I know about JCs. Xp POOOOOOOOOO!

Me bought Kimchi from this new outlet in TAKA called “찬찬餐!” which pronounces at ‘Chan Chan Chan!’ It sells the Korean basic nessesities which are their countless side dishes like the ever famous KIMCHI, preserved zucchinis, preserved radishes, anchovies or is it called silver fish?????? LOADS! The lady boss was Korean and I just told her the Kimchi was delicious and she went, ” Aigoo! Kamsahabnida! ????????????????????????????” hahahhaha~ hilarious! I HEART Koreans! They are just so nice! ^^ ESP when they find out you know/ learn their language!

Found a Korean restaurant restaurant in Square 2 called 한상 Korean Family Restaurant, talked to the chef!!!! (some parts in Korean) AHHAHA~~ COOLNESS! Mummy will bring me there soon for some GREAT Korean cuisine! ^^

To all those stuck-up rich pple, it will come back to you and bite you in the butt one day! WE ARE FREAKING NOT INVISIBLE. To all those RICH singaporean kids, it’s your PARENTS who are rich! You’re not Dakota Fannings for Gawd’s sake.

WORK F-ING SUCKS. April 5, 2009

2009-04-06T00:42:00.001+08:00

My manager is like the worst person in the whole wide world. When she was interviewing me, yeah SURRRRRRRE, she was nice and all saying she cares a lot about her staff and their welfare. YEEEEEEAH, now that I got the job and am working for all, all the cracks are appearing. You got that right! She’s one (like Tyra says) BYEOTCH! GRRRrrrrrrrrr, you treat us like crap when you feel like it and expect us all to treat you really right. Critisizing us, you’re “never” wrong, pin-pointing at us… when all that we’ve been doing is holding up your post for you. Just because you’re a manger doesn’t mean you can “see us down” OK. She always “HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO”, “SO BUSY” but then she signs in to MSN in her storeroom-of-an-office and even calls her friends and laugh so FREAKINGLY loud it can be heard on the sales floor. And it’s the all of a sudden “HA!” kind or else she will suddenly make some sort of weird laughing sounds. WTF… how PROFESSIONALLLLLLLLLLLLL! More like POFESSIONAL.

2009-02-24T21:57:00.003+08:00

spell chicken.mushroom.baked.rice
24-02-2009

What's left of dinner which I prepared! BRO ATE EVERYTHING! THE VEGGIES TOO!!!!! OMG IT WAS TOUGH, THE ASPARAGUS! <3 YOU 동생!!! ^^

자장면, 비빔밥, 기리고 김치찌개 김치 진짜 밋있아요!!!!
dated: 22-02-2009

OMG... my alarm did not sound this morning at 935AM and in the end, I did not attend church service!! O_O grrrrr... I even decided to prepare for my sermon by bookmarking my bible at James 4!!!!!!! WHYY?????

2 best dramas in the world!

2009-02-16T23:36:00.006+08:00

불량 커플

It's like super nicenicenice!!!

***********************
꽃보다 남가

I''ll like to thank the Japanese for creating "Hana Yori Dango" manga. Because 꽃보다 남자 is the BEST out of all three!

OMB. OH MY BORING.

2009-01-13T11:16:00.002+08:00

Can class ever get more "boring-er" then it is now? It's the MOST BORING lesson in Reasoning ever. My eyes were all droopy and closing when the faci was talking to my team. I had to like close my eyes for a few seconds before I can open it. Fatigueness has engulfed my being because I couldn't sleep well at all last night. Fuck yea.. why couldn't I sleep well at all!? IT's so SUCKY. RAWR!!!!!!!!! nbcb... stupid brain of mine that doesn't want to sleep.

Time and tide waits for no (wo)men.

2009-01-06T00:09:00.003+08:00

*time time time by ~muszka

Time, time, time... indeed!! LEMME HEAR Y'ALL SAY HEY YO!!!!!! IT'S THE LAST SEMESTER FOR ALL YEAR THREE STUDENTS! Oh yea!! After enduring almost three years of my life in this RETARDED poly, I get to graduate! It's not a complete waste of time because I made a bunch of friends that I wanna remain FRIENDS with!!! You know who you all are!!! (:(:(: My BFFs of RP 'cause life will suck indefinitely without them in my life! All those crapping & pissing all the other patrons down at Mac and Long John and long forgotten ones at KFC!!! xD I'll miss our "Ice Cream" sessions!!!

I can't believe that my life in poly is coming to a fullstop! LETS ALL HOPE IT'LL BE A FULLSTOP. PLEASE!!!!!! LET ME PASS MY LAST YEAR GOD!! I WANNA STUDY SOMETHING THAT I LOVE(not loathe)!!!!!!!!!!!!! If only I could stop time and turn it back/ or have Hiro's power to go back in time/ or have Peter's power so I can get Ando's and Daphane's/ or have the TARDIS to go back in time, I'll have chosen STA. I know that choosing STA will not change anything because I'll still be close to Cherlyn and Eunice/ still join Rhapsody/ still get to know Sandy and Janice/ still get CPC as my classmate/ and because I know all 3 of them, I'll still get to know Songlin, Aizat, Hirda, Sarimah, Lewis, Nazihah etc...etc... (:(: So I feel really blessed. Thank you God, for giving such sensational friends to me!!! God of creation and wonders of the world, Lord Almighty.

All these "slogging" in RP ("slogging" because I din't really slog since I hate science and I kinda gave up along the way, I know I'm HORRID.) I really want to get into Monash to study BA in Arts( Linguistics/ Korean) like that I can go work at other places and not stay in S(tink)ingapore. =P Hope that MM, SM, PM and the cabinet never see this or else I'll go to jail.

Oh Happy Day.

2008-12-30T02:55:00.002+08:00

beverly is happy because she watched many Tyra Show episodes today.

beverly is psyched because she has finished four episodes of Torchwood and still loving that series.

beverly is intrigued because according to The Tyra Show there ARE vampires that exist.

beverly is OVERJOYED because in more then six months she finally got to IM Jaja.

BEVERLY IS IN ECSTATIC MODE TODAY!!!!!

[as you see she's talking about herself in third person]

BFFs outing!

2008-12-03T21:44:00.014+08:00

Woke up this morning to the sound of cement drilling because those F-ers like to drill and dig in front of our house. ALWAYS THE FRONT OF OUR HOUSE FIRST ONE. FOREVER. Stupid Banglas. !@$%^&$*@@#$ Drill..drill..drill...... DRILL YOURSELF LA. In the end I woke up an hour earlier but I was still late because I was loading Gossip Girl on yidio.com. =P Sorry <3babes! style="font-size:130%;">BOLD? That's the webpage I'm talking about.

Went to PS to meet my babes and ended up being tackled by them in front of the sushi booth and the lady in the booth was like, "AIYO AYE...." I think she's worried about the sushi not me. It's because the sushi was in my hands. But the stupid cold storage decided to pack the sushi for us and it wasn't what I wanted. DUHHHHH~~~~ So turned off.

We went to CO to shop after purchasing the tickets. Cherlyn and Eunice bouthgt the same babydoll top and bag from CO. Eunice bought an extra pair of shorts and I bought a dress for $20. ONLY $20 and it's for my graduation!! HAHHAHA~~

After that we chilled at McDonalds for a while before going to watch Wild Child at the Cathay and we found out that THE FUCKING TICKETING COUNTER PERSON PRINTED THE WRONG TIME FOR ME!!!!!!!!! HE FREAKING PRINTED THE 1250 SHOW FOR US WHEN WE ASKED FOR THE 1450 SHOW! LOSERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! In the end we had to crane our necks to watch the BEST SHOW IN THE WORLD. Wild Child is FREAAAAAAAKING NICE!!!!! HE'S SO HAWT!!!! =P

Then we went to Cherlyn's place to watch Princess Diaries 2: The Royal Engagement. It was nice!!! (((: Love watching it with my BFFS!!!! They're the BESTEST in the world. Cherlyn and I went to Bukit Timah food centre for dinner of CHILLI with Hokkien Mee + Sugarcane juice. HAHAHAH... It's the opposite of hokkien mee with chilli because we LOVE chilli the both of us! (: When home after that!! HAHAHA... And chatted online!

The PICTURES we took! (:

The dress that I bought for my graduation at no less then $20 !!!!!

platonic friends?

2008-11-30T14:31:00.001+08:00

*the dog by *uzengia

Maybe James and I are platonic friends? HAHAHA...We're still emailing each other till now and it seems that we ALWAYS have something to talk about! He's kinda like the husband that I wanna have!!! HAHAHA~ Kinda like an older brother also.. (: As for Shawn, it's like we have nothing to talk about anymore...))): LOL...it's almost like it's a fling.

Trustworthiness

2008-11-28T19:05:00.004+08:00

*travellin_light_by_curlytops

Those who hurt you are those whom you trust the most. Telling them all those secrets that mean and meant a lot to you and having them spilt out like waterfalls and brought up again and again is infuriating.

Why do they do that to you? You give them your all having them stomp all over it and telling you things like we should totally end the relationship/ friendship between us. hat can ever make them say things like that. Hurtful things which doesn't seem to matter to them at all. We get hurt, the ones who care more get hurt and at the end of it all we get over things to have them stuffed into our faces once again.

The saying "Once bitten, twice shy" is useless in the context of love and friendship because being human, we have times when our heart take control of our body instead of our brains. That's when we do not learn from lessons and end up committing them once again. Having someone who did not have your heart at first then breaking it because they "do not want to hurt you" is ridiculous.

Stop the trust.

Miss you more?

2008-11-27T00:06:00.002+08:00

BBMAK LYRICS

"Miss You More"

There are so many reasons(NOT really) that I find to run to you
Cos there's so little loving(True...true) in my life, now I am away
And thinking about it I want things back how they used to be
There is no way round it, nothing good comes easily
So much between us and we both know that it's wrong(SO WRONG)
So I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong

[Chorus]
So here I am all by myself thinking of you nobody else
There is a feeling inside and as hard as I try it just won't go away(YA!!! CHIK AK MAN!)
Are you finding it hard it all on your own
Having to face each night alone
Knowing that you are the one(Really?) with the love that I need
And I miss you more each day(Trueeee, but how long more will it last?)

So many feelings emotions running away with me
Cos it's you I believe in(Can I really?) and I love this one so deep
So much between us and we both know that it's wrong
Now I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong
Back where I belong

[Chorus]

So I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong
Back where I belong

[Chorus to fade]

Can't lose myself

2008-11-24T00:13:00.003+08:00

*__In_case_I_lose_myself_again_by_Mixa23

AHHHHHHHG. He was so eager to talk in the past.
Now it's almost like avoidance because he's online so seldomly. Just like JAMES.
What's with me and guys who claim to like me?
When it was two weeks ago, I din't even think much of him during our "time out".
Now that "time out" is SO over, I actually like him...
He made me like him.
Now it's almost like he doesn't want to talk to me.

Why make me like you when you are not willing to give me what you promised?
No more hurts.
No more anythings.
No more waitings.

*Since I'm his "Baby girl" right?
)*:

CPC, thanks I'll remember this forever:
"When a guy needs you,
They’ll try their 100% to get you.
When the guy got you,
They’ll only put in 70% for you.
And as time goes,
They won’t even put in their 1% effort for you."

fragments of my FUCKED-UP life

2008-11-18T00:17:00.003+08:00

*fuck_by_misspurple

Only SOME people are serious about the performance this thursday.

Have no FUCKING idea how some of them even can bother to screw up at our "mock" rehearsal.

I already got Anton who got Xiang Ting who pushed to Adrian to tell the group about usage of mobile phones.

Some of them just don't get it.

Screw those A-holes, still dare to show me their black face when they're in the wrong.

HOW COME THEY'RE NOT FUCKING NERVOUS AT ALL???

Oh... most of them are PRIMA DONNAS who think they're ALL THAT. =.= can?

And guess what? That's not the end of the amount of drama for me.

Apparently my soul and my whole being is being hated by this measly person who claims to care about everyone

when it's actually "itself" that "it" cares about.

So YEA.

I see no wrong in defending my friends who got screwed by your "happy-go-luckyNESS" so...

Go ahead and get pissed off by a stupid message telling you that a group aren't waiting for your royal pain-ness just because you're late.

Which you ALWAYS are.

So, why should we wait?

Deleted "it" off FACEBOOK & MSN.

*PS.

Shawn was SO cute today...he IT(Internationa text)ed me today even though he was online and so was I.

Ain't he just precious!?!? =P

But he's working now so he's probably got no time to reply my message so yea.. ): a little...

But it makes me smile looking at the message he sent me.

"Hey Gangsta Girl, I see you! Haha"

NOVEMBER THE SEVENTEEN, TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHT

2008-11-17T00:32:00.002+08:00

*Invasion of the Swirlies!

YESHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CHERLYN CHIA XIANG LING IS BACK IN SINGAPORE IN ONE PIECE AND IS NOT JET LEGGED ENOUGH TO GO, "SINGAPORE IS DAMN STUFFY LAH!!!" YES!! THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I HATE SINGAPORE. The government should not put SIXTEEN gantrees of ERP because they love us (extort $$$ from us) but should be places SIXTEEN,000 AIRCONS IN SINGAPORE TO COOL US DOWN!

I hand delivered SugarCane juice to Cherlyn today! HAHAHAHA.... So honoured to be the FIRST ONE TO SEE HER AND BUY HER SUGARCANE!!!!!!! Xd Had tons of fun in the 2 hours at her place so I cant wait for our sleepover next saturday!!!! Also can't wait to see her Dr Wee in ACTION! We took some photos with "photo booth" in her MAC. LOVE MAC.
MACMACMACMACMAC
PRESENTING MAC FACE -DRUMROLL-
MAC MAC
_____
Wahhahahahah~
I'm worried that Shawn will get stressed out by his family stuffs....he's falling sick! ):

WHAT?!

2008-11-12T23:26:00.002+08:00

*U_by_Username92

"What am I suppose to do?" My newly found twin and I are confused bird brains in love. We have this thing for a guy and whenever he says something nice, we are compelled at what to do or say back to him. We are in the completely same situation and the guys we like are SERIOUSLY similar in the kinda of questions they ask and answer. O_O much? We are twins born from a different mother and we completely seem to feel exactly the same way to the guys that we fancy. We have like 1/5 of the amount of "fancy-ness" as compared to the guys have for us and we are really worried that it might minus down to only friendship. The only 2 differences are, her's is already an ITEM while mine is still nowhere? and also, mine's an online thing. Definitely hard. Although we webcam and I've like phone him twice and him to me once, it still feels distant because he's not literally here HERE.

mesmerized

2008-11-05T02:58:00.002+08:00

AHAHHAHAHHA...SHAWWNNNN'S GOT PRETTY EYES THAT ACCORDING TO HIM...
:$ The Shy Guy :$ says (2:57 AM):
you look like you're mesmerized

ahhahahha~~~~ =P=P=P

HE'S TOO ADORABLE.

Why cant he be in Singapore?!??!?!?!?

OKKKKKK WOW!??!?!

2008-11-04T00:39:00.002+08:00

SHAWN LIKES ME!?!?!?
SHAWN LIKES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-SCRRRRRRRRREAMS-
What else can I do??
-jump up and down-
Okok...cannot think too much into things because look what happened before.
OK??? Don't think too much and let things "shun qi zi ran"
He's being so cute and melting my heart all the time...
I don't know what to do!!!
I know for sure that I might be falling for him and all...because he say something sweet,
I smile not cringe.
That's a starter... we'll just get to know each other better before anything happens.
(: That's for the best, for now...
*BTW...Thanks James...if if hadn't been for you, I'll not have met Shawn.
You loser that I have for a FRIEND.
F-R-I-E-N-D.
That's right, we're so-called friends now.
SO-CALLED.

confused.

2008-11-03T00:19:00.006+08:00

*sweet_love__by_cisya

I decided not to post my chat with Shawn because it lagged my entire computer. From that you'll know how big it is. I'll paste the more O_O details that makes me turn on my flirt. I don't know why I did it anyway. This is probably only half of what we've chatted because it was 763KB in 2 days. TWO FREAKING DAYS. O_O much!? We've officially broken my longest chat because Cherlyn and my chat was only 526KB!!!!!!!!!!! Obviously, James and I can never reach that. All I wanna say is, I think Shawn's like James's sub because I completely forgot about James for the whole times except for 10 minutes and it was like 10 minutes out of 6 hours?!? I don't want the same thing to happen. ):

(4:55 PM) The Shy Guy :	SMILE
(4:57 PM) beverlyHEELS:	COOOOKIES!!!!!!!!
(4:57 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(4:57 PM) The Shy Guy :	someone's being non-smiley tonight
(4:57 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(4:58 PM) beverlyHEELS:	because school's starting tomorrow!!!!!
(4:58 PM) The Shy Guy :	ahhhh... ok
(4:59 PM) The Shy Guy :	would you like a hug?
(4:59 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(4:59 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HHAHHA lol and how are you gonna accomplish that if I said yes??
(5:00 PM) The Shy Guy :	well, like i said... i'll try to swim over there, if i don't eaten by sharks... i'll tell them to take my legs and leave my arms

******************************

(6:12 PM) beverlyHEELS:	OO!! I've a picture of myself wearing glasses. Almost went blind taking it. Wanna see?
(6:12 PM) The Shy Guy :	poo on you
(6:12 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:12 PM) beverlyHEELS:	WAT?!
(6:12 PM) beverlyHEELS:	AHHAHAH
(6:12 PM) The Shy Guy :	sure
(6:12 PM) The Shy Guy :
(6:13 PM) beverlyHEELS:	Initiated a file transfer
(6:13 PM) The Shy Guy :	awwwwww
(6:13 PM) The Shy Guy :	isn't that cute
(6:13 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHA LOL
(6:13 PM) beverlyHEELS:	I was seeing twins of everything.
(6:13 PM)	Transfer of "DSC03204.JPG" is complete.
(6:14 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:15 PM) The Shy Guy :	you look super duper uber luper good with classes... kinda cute
(6:15 PM) The Shy Guy :
(6:15 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHAA
(6:15 PM) beverlyHEELS:	I LOOK NERDY
(6:16 PM) The Shy Guy :	you look cute
(6:16 PM) The Shy Guy :	i want to pinch your cheeks
(6:16 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahha HAHAHAH
(6:16 PM) beverlyHEELS:	2 buns
(6:17 PM) The Shy Guy :	2 buns, eh
(6:17 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:18 PM) beverlyHEELS:	my stupid cheekbones so high!!! everytime I try buying shades it rests on them
(6:18 PM) beverlyHEELS:	ridiculously funny looking
(6:18 PM) beverlyHEELS:	end up laughing at the counter
(6:18 PM) The Shy Guy :	i'm sure you look awesome...
(6:19 PM) beverlyHEELS:	i look FUNNY!!!
(6:20 PM) The Shy Guy :	i'm sure anything you wear, you'd look cute
(6:20 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahhahahha awww thanks!
(6:21 PM) The Shy Guy :	you just have to flash that smile and i would be on my knees
(6:21 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:21 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHA!!! You'll just have to smile and you can get away with anything. Or flutter your eyelashes
(6:21 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHAA
(6:21 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:22 PM) The Shy Guy :	what will i get away with?
(6:22 PM) The Shy Guy :
(6:22 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:23 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahaha!!!! stealing something from the shop
(6:23 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHAH
(6:23 PM) The Shy Guy :	and i'll be like beverly did it... i saw her... i swear officer
(6:23 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:24 PM) beverlyHEELS:	What me!? Then I'll smile, if the police doesnt lemme go I'll kick him in the shin and b***s then we'll take off
(6:24 PM) beverlyHEELS:	ahahhaha
(6:24 PM) beverlyHEELS:	i'm so evil
(6:24 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:25 PM) The Shy Guy :	we're the perfect partners
(6:25 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:25 PM) beverlyHEELS:	whoo!! lets go rob a bank!
(6:25 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:26 PM) The Shy Guy :	what can i make you do now with my smile and nice eyes?
(6:26 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:26 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHHAHA make me go awww co cute
(6:26 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahah
(6:26 PM) beverlyHEELS:	so*
(6:26 PM) beverlyHEELS:
(6:27 PM) The Shy Guy :	did you miss me?
(6:27 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:28 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HHAHHA where did you go off to??
(6:28 PM) beverlyHEELS:	ahhaha
(6:28 PM) The Shy Guy :	i went to the washroom... my bladder was floating
(6:29 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHA
(6:29 PM) The Shy Guy :	i see you missed me
(6:29 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:29 PM) beverlyHEELS:	maybe maybe not?
(6:29 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHHAHA
(6:29 PM) The Shy Guy :	miss me... miss me... now you gotta kiss me
(6:29 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:29 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahhah
(6:30 PM) beverlyHEELS:	ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww nononononononono aHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(6:30 PM) The Shy Guy :	surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeee
(6:30 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:31 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahha I wont kiss you. I'll type out the action the emoticon will do it for me.
(6:32 PM) The Shy Guy :	ewwwwww... cooties
(6:32 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:32 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHA
(6:32 PM) The Shy Guy :	get them off
(6:32 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:33 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HHHAHA
(6:33 PM) The Shy Guy :	well, i suppose i shall do it back
(6:33 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHAH
(6:33 PM) The Shy Guy :
(6:34 PM) beverlyHEELS:	wipes saliva
(6:34 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:34 PM) The Shy Guy :	yeah... i give sloppy kisses
(6:35 PM) The Shy Guy :
(6:35 PM) beverlyHEELS:	sprays disinfectant
(6:35 PM) beverlyHEELS:	AAHHAHAHAHAH
(6:36 PM) The Shy Guy :	surrrreeee.... you'd like it... i'd flutter my eyelashes and smile and you'd have me on the ground
(6:37 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:37 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHHAHA
(6:37 PM) beverlyHEELS:	I'll use my piggy to protect my face.

******************************

(6:42 PM) beverlyHEELS:	scare the hell outta me!!!!
(6:43 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:43 PM) The Shy Guy :	you can watch it with me
(6:43 PM) The Shy Guy :
(6:43 PM) beverlyHEELS:	_<-">nooooooo!!!!
(6:43 PM) beverlyHEELS:	nononononononono
(6:44 PM) The Shy Guy :	and then i'll flutter my eyelashes and smile and you'll be smiling again
(6:45 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:45 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHAH
(6:45 PM) beverlyHEELS:	still no
(6:45 PM) beverlyHEELS:	NONONONONONONON
(6:46 PM) beverlyHEELS:	NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(6:46 PM) beverlyHEELS:	_<-">
(6:46 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:46 PM) The Shy Guy :	ok... we can see a sappy movie
(6:46 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHHAHA
(6:47 PM) beverlyHEELS:	OK.
(6:47 PM) The Shy Guy :	and i'll be like i'm not crying
(6:47 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:47 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahhahah
(6:48 PM) beverlyHEELS:	I'll bring the tissue box for you
(6:49 PM) The Shy Guy :	and you'll be like awwwww... you're like the cutest thing ever...
(6:49 PM) The Shy Guy :	and smile and then i'll be like awwwww
(6:50 PM) The Shy Guy :	and then you'll be like awwwww
(6:50 PM) The Shy Guy :	and then i'll be like awwww
(6:50 PM) The Shy Guy :	and then we'll both like awwwww
(6:50 PM) The Shy Guy :	and then the audience will be awwwww
(6:50 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:50 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHA
(6:51 PM) beverlyHEELS:	AWWWWWWWWWW~~~your eyes i'll smile
(6:51 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHAH
(6:52 PM) beverlyHEELS:	AWWWWWWW
(6:52 PM) The Shy Guy :	awwwww
(6:53 PM) The Shy Guy :	that's sooooo cute
(6:53 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahaha
(6:54 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(6:54 PM) The Shy Guy :	you're too cute
(6:54 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHAH too! cute too! cute...mindblasting!
(6:54 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHA
(6:55 PM) The Shy Guy :	i'm too cute?
(6:55 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol

******************************

(7:04 PM) The Shy Guy :	your eyes are sooooo cute
(7:04 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(7:05 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahh!!! lol
(7:05 PM) beverlyHEELS:	nono i should go awwwwwwwww you're so cute for saying my eyes are cute.
(7:07 PM) The Shy Guy :	and i should say awwww you're sooo cute and your smile could melt my heart forever...
(7:08 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHA!!!! lol!
(7:09 PM) The Shy Guy :	omg... your eyes are the cutest thing ever... i wanna look at them forever
(7:09 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(7:09 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHHAHA!! They're not cute!!!
(7:10 PM) The Shy Guy :	yes... they are... they're like putting me in a trance
(7:10 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(7:10 PM) The Shy Guy :	I AM IN YOUR POWER
(7:10 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(7:11 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHA
(7:11 PM) beverlyHEELS:	you're getting really sleepy and you'll sleep
(7:11 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHA
(7:11 PM) The Shy Guy :	NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

******************************

(7:45 PM) beverlyHEELS:	GO SLEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!
(7:45 PM) The Shy Guy :	i'm not even tired...
(7:45 PM) beverlyHEELS:	!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(7:45 PM) The Shy Guy :	don't worry about me
(7:45 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahhaha
(7:46 PM) The Shy Guy :	you're soooooo cute
(7:46 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(7:47 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahha...WHAT?!? i'll have to shield my eyes/nose/mouth
(7:47 PM) The Shy Guy :	yeah... apparently...
(7:48 PM) beverlyHEELS:	cant see me!
(7:48 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hhhahahahah
(7:48 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(7:49 PM) beverlyHEELS:	i've to go and eat dinner!!
(7:50 PM) The Shy Guy :	awwwww
(7:50 PM) The Shy Guy :
(7:50 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHA
(7:50 PM) The Shy Guy :
(7:50 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahaha dont cry emoticon...

******************************

(8:22 PM) The Shy Guy :	so if i went to australia, one day, would you come with me?
(8:23 PM) beverlyHEELS:	O_O 34!??!?!?!
(8:23 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahhaa if my mom allows why not??
(8:23 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahaha
(8:23 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(8:24 PM) The Shy Guy :	we can adopt a kangaroo
(8:24 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(8:24 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHA you adopt a roo, i want a koala
(8:24 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHA

******************************

(9:00 PM) beverlyHEELS:	im looking for cute doggy emoticons
(9:00 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:00 PM) The Shy Guy :	awwwww
(9:02 PM) The Shy Guy :	alright... we're going to Australia one day and living there... Deal?
(9:02 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hhahah YES(if my mother allows)
(9:02 PM) beverlyHEELS:	Hhahhahaha
(9:02 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:03 PM) The Shy Guy :	well, she'll meet me and i'll smile and flash my eyelashes and win her over
(9:03 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:03 PM) beverlyHEELS:	Oo! I wanted to ask..what's your height???
(9:03 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHHAHA
(9:03 PM) beverlyHEELS:	who's she?
(9:03 PM) The Shy Guy :	5'8
(9:03 PM) The Shy Guy :	your mom
(9:03 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:03 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHAH
(9:03 PM) beverlyHEELS:	LOL
(9:03 PM) The Shy Guy :	what's your height?
(9:04 PM) beverlyHEELS:	erm...158?
(9:04 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahah
(9:04 PM) beverlyHEELS:	i duno how to convert
(9:04 PM) The Shy Guy :	inches?
(9:05 PM) beverlyHEELS:	I tihnk I'm like 5'3?
(9:05 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahah
(9:05 PM) The Shy Guy :	you're 5'3
(9:05 PM) The Shy Guy :	awwww
(9:05 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahaha
(9:05 PM) The Shy Guy :	that's soooo cute
(9:05 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:05 PM) beverlyHEELS:	what?! NO I'M SHORT
(9:05 PM) beverlyHEELS:	SHORT SHORT SHORT
(9:06 PM) The Shy Guy :	that's super duper cute
(9:06 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHAHA Everything's cute to you
(9:06 PM) The Shy Guy :	not everything... just your height, smile, eyes, hair, feet...
(9:06 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:07 PM) The Shy Guy :

******************************

(9:31 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahhaha lol
(9:31 PM) beverlyHEELS:	take off your specs i wanna see you long lashes. HAHAHAHAHA
(9:32 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:32 PM) beverlyHEELS:	-screamss-
(9:32 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahahah
(9:32 PM) The Shy Guy :	are you getting excited or something?
(9:32 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:33 PM) beverlyHEELS:	ok you can unblind yourself
(9:33 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahaha
(9:33 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:33 PM) The Shy Guy :	well, apparently my eyelashes drive you crazy
(9:33 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:33 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHA.
(9:33 PM) beverlyHEELS:	so you want me to remain crazy???
(9:34 PM) The Shy Guy :	well, sure... the good crazy though... not the i'm gonna jump through that computer and hurt you crazy
(9:34 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:34 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHA
(9:35 PM) beverlyHEELS:	haha it's good crazy
(9:35 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:35 PM) The Shy Guy :	ok... awesome
(9:35 PM) The Shy Guy :	my eyes look blue
(9:35 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:36 PM) beverlyHEELS:	!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(9:36 PM) beverlyHEELS:	you're brunette right???
(9:37 PM) The Shy Guy :	well, dark brown in the winter and lighter in the summer
(9:37 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HUH?!!!!!
(9:37 PM) The Shy Guy :	it's probably still kinda light
(9:37 PM) The Shy Guy :	my hair
(9:37 PM) beverlyHEELS:	your hair?
(9:37 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahah
(9:37 PM) The Shy Guy :	yeah...
(9:37 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:37 PM) beverlyHEELS:	OK..BLUE EYED BRUNETTE....
(9:37 PM) beverlyHEELS:	-SCRRRRRRRRREAMSSSSSSS-
(9:38 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:38 PM) The Shy Guy :	my eyes are actually hazel green
(9:38 PM) beverlyHEELS:	OMGGGGG
(9:38 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:38 PM) The Shy Guy :	what?
(9:39 PM) The Shy Guy :	you look like you're gonna jump through the screen and jump me
(9:39 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:39 PM) beverlyHEELS:	are eyes are hazel green and blue!??!?!?!!?
(9:39 PM) beverlyHEELS:	ahhahaha
(9:39 PM) The Shy Guy :	no... they're just hazel green
(9:39 PM) beverlyHEELS:	but you said they're blue???
(9:39 PM) beverlyHEELS:	ahhaha
(9:40 PM) The Shy Guy :	nooooo... they look blue in my screen
(9:40 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:40 PM) beverlyHEELS:	OHHHHHHH
(9:40 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahaha
(9:40 PM) The Shy Guy :	okkk.... calm down.... i swear i'm gonna hear you come through my window in a sec
(9:40 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:41 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHA
(9:42 PM) The Shy Guy :	are you ok now?\
(9:42 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHHA ya
(9:42 PM) beverlyHEELS:	thank goodness you decided to wear your glasss.
(9:42 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHAH
(9:42 PM) The Shy Guy :	why's that?
(9:42 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:43 PM) beverlyHEELS:	cause you say your lashes drives me crazy, so your glasses prevent me from staring at them
(9:43 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHHAHA
(9:43 PM) beverlyHEELS:	OMGGGG HAHAHAH
(9:43 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:44 PM) The Shy Guy :	are you gonna be ok?
(9:44 PM) beverlyHEELS:	shit. is my face turning red?!
(9:44 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHAH
(9:44 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:44 PM) The Shy Guy :	ohhhh la la
(9:44 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:44 PM) The Shy Guy :
(9:45 PM) The Shy Guy :	i can't really tell
(9:45 PM) The Shy Guy :	maybe...
(9:45 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHA
(9:45 PM) The Shy Guy :	are you blushing?
(9:45 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:45 PM) beverlyHEELS:	my face has cooled down.
(9:46 PM) beverlyHEELS:	you! you caused it. those lashes

******************************

(9:48 PM) beverlyHEELS:	okok stop distracting me.
(9:48 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:48 PM) The Shy Guy :	am i distracting you... i didn't know
(9:48 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:48 PM) beverlyHEELS:	your eyes are
(9:48 PM) beverlyHEELS:
(9:48 PM) The Shy Guy :	hot?
(9:48 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:49 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAH
(9:49 PM) beverlyHEELS:	maybe?=X
(9:49 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHA
(9:49 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:49 PM) The Shy Guy :	i'm taking that as a yes
(9:49 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:49 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHAHA
(9:49 PM) beverlyHEELS:
(9:49 PM) The Shy Guy :	and by that smile, i know it's true
(9:50 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:50 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahaha..i'm talking to my friend
(9:50 PM) The Shy Guy :	surrrrreeeee
(9:50 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HHAHAHA...someone thinks.......too much
(9:50 PM) beverlyHEELS:	tsktsk
(9:51 PM) The Shy Guy :	somebody is getting super excited and is on the verge of jumping through the screen

******************************

(9:57 PM) The Shy Guy :	you shall now call me Hot Stuff and i shall put you in a trance with my eyelashes
(9:58 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:58 PM) The Shy Guy :	you are now in my power
(9:58 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:58 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHAA
(9:58 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HOT STUFF
(9:58 PM) beverlyHEELS:	NOT
(9:58 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahaha
(9:58 PM) The Shy Guy :	ohhhhh...
(9:58 PM) The Shy Guy :	i know you're just covering your tracks
(9:58 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(9:59 PM) beverlyHEELS:	-whistles and looks everywhere-

******************************

(10:19 PM) beverlyHEELS:	OK.GO TO BED NOW
(10:19 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:20 PM) The Shy Guy :	i guess i should
(10:20 PM) beverlyHEELS:	uh huh!!
(10:20 PM) The Shy Guy :	well, don't miss me too much
(10:20 PM) The Shy Guy :	hahaha
(10:20 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHA
(10:20 PM) beverlyHEELS:	dont miss me too when you go off.
(10:20 PM) beverlyHEELS:	ahahha
(10:21 PM) The Shy Guy :	ohhhh... i will... i'll dream of those eyes
(10:21 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:21 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHA
(10:21 PM) The Shy Guy :	but it'll be a good dream
(10:21 PM) beverlyHEELS:	ok i'll try to psycho my brain to dream about your lashes
(10:21 PM) The Shy Guy :	ok
(10:21 PM) The Shy Guy :	that might get dangerous
(10:21 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:21 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HHAHAHHA
(10:22 PM) beverlyHEELS:	LOL!! Then i'll scream in my sleep or something
(10:22 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:22 PM) The Shy Guy :
(10:23 PM) The Shy Guy :	awwww... cute
(10:23 PM) The Shy Guy :
(10:23 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHAH
(10:23 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:23 PM) beverlyHEELS:	LOL
(10:23 PM) The Shy Guy :	no... i'll probably dream of that smile and those eyes and i'll smile in my sleep
(10:23 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahhaha
(10:24 PM) The Shy Guy :	SMILE
(10:24 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAA
(10:24 PM) The Shy Guy :
(10:25 PM) The Shy Guy :	omg... you're soooo cute
(10:25 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:25 PM) beverlyHEELS:	ahahha what?!?!
(10:25 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:25 PM) The Shy Guy :	your eyesa
(10:25 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:25 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHA
(10:25 PM) The Shy Guy :	alright... i have to be strong
(10:25 PM) The Shy Guy :	hahaha
(10:25 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAH YESYES
(10:26 PM) beverlyHEELS:	may the force be with you
(10:26 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:26 PM) The Shy Guy :	yes, young jedi
(10:26 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:26 PM) The Shy Guy :	alright... i shall hit the pillow with my long eyelashes
(10:27 PM) The Shy Guy :
(10:27 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHA
(10:27 PM) beverlyHEELS:	erm.it's hit the sack?
(10:27 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahahha
(10:28 PM) The Shy Guy :	well, i can always swim to singapore and go sleep in your warm bed
(10:28 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:28 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHA
(10:28 PM) beverlyHEELS:	my bed's single only for one person
(10:28 PM) beverlyHEELS:	hahahha
(10:28 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:29 PM) The Shy Guy :	that's fine... we can switch
(10:29 PM) beverlyHEELS:	switch???
(10:30 PM) beverlyHEELS:	what?! i sleep on the floor?
(10:30 PM) beverlyHEELS:	haahha NO
(10:30 PM) The Shy Guy :	because my sleep pattern is opposite to yours, so when you get out of bed, i'll jump in
(10:30 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol
(10:30 PM) beverlyHEELS:	AHAHHA
(10:30 PM) beverlyHEELS:	oh ya
(10:31 PM) The Shy Guy :	alright... i shall go to my warm bed and go sleep for a bit and dream
(10:32 PM) The Shy Guy :	and i don't think i need to explain the dreams
(10:32 PM) The Shy Guy :	ol
(10:32 PM) The Shy Guy :	lol*
(10:32 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHAH
(10:32 PM) beverlyHEELS:	LOL OKK
(10:32 PM) beverlyHEELS:	NIGHT!!!
(10:33 PM) The Shy Guy :	goodnight, take care and sweet dreams, when you do go to bed
(10:33 PM) beverlyHEELS:	ahhah..okk ^^
(10:33 PM) The Shy Guy :	don't miss me too much
(10:33 PM) beverlyHEELS:	HAHAHHA
(10:33 PM) The Shy Guy :	alright... goodnight
(10:34 PM) beverlyHEELS:	goodnight!!
(10:34 PM) The Shy Guy :
(10:34 PM)	The Shy Guy has stopped viewing webcam with you.
(10:34 PM)	You have stopped viewing webcam with The Shy Guy .

******************************

Even us saying goodnights and goodbye takes THAT long. Can you believe that?! HAHAHA...
HE'S UBER ADORABLE. Sadly he's EONS away from me and we're TOTALLY not impossible to happen as of now, I've to STOP thinking of him.

without specs

2008-11-02T21:55:00.001+08:00

Does he look better without specs? I THINK HE LOOKS WAY BETTER. HAHAHHAHA~~ okok...i need to stop being excited LA.

xDDDD

2008-11-02T18:11:00.001+08:00

HAHHHAHHA SHAWN SHAWN SHAWN!!! Lol~~ for you guys to see! Quite cute right?? =P

Windows

2008-11-02T00:46:00.006+08:00

*Windows by ~Malleni

I've survived my 3 webcam IM sessions with Shawn! HAHAA~ My FIRST ever webcam chat, so cool la. And Shawn looks better in real time compared to his photos from FB. He's got nice eyes, a cute smile and pointy fringe. [That's what I told him when he said I din't compliment his hair and he did mine]. HAHAHA~~ At least I can look at him compared to James. Can't see his soul and the truth in his words.

James... What the FUCK man? He's not replied to my emails. This is the recent one that I've sent after him not replying the email before:

What do you want me to do? Apologise for being me? I think I've done that. I'm pretty vulgar by nature and because I don't wear in the IM window... I may be vulgar and uncouth but it's what allows my {FUCK! TYPO ERROR!!!} to be free and express myself and actually it's made me happy being a person. So you like, used to like I mean, the person who's blunt but doesn't swear? What do you want me to do? Be myself or not myself when I'm talkint to you? Or be a sad person not being my uncouth self?

Please reply.
-Beverly

There's me telling him to reply. Like FREAKING REPLY ALREADY!!!!! Cherlyn told me it's like I swear all the time because of this:
" my to be free and express myself and actually it's made me happy being a person"

LAWL...KINDA!

Deranged?! I'm not unstable am I?

2008-11-01T01:02:00.002+08:00

WAITTTTT..What do you mean unstable? Are you implying that I'm deranged? Well, I'm neither unstable nor deranged I'm just angry. And I don't need help. I need reassurance, not help. People get angry, they get worked up at times and you're not exactly helping me calm down by saying that I'm unstable and repeating again and again. I go into auto debate mode when I'm mad and this is me...being mad. Not mad as an operative word. And I'm not fucking unstable. O.K?

-Beverly

I feel that at times I do put too much trust in people. Perhaps you have made the same mistake, you placed too much trust in me, too much faith in something that would never be. I know how much this can hurt, I have been on the recieving end of this, it feels like the entire world is coming to an end.
I cannot trust someone who is unstable and clearly needs some degree of help which I am not qualified to provide. Perhaps it was me that made the mistake
--J

--- On Fri, 31/10/08, Beverly Lin sihui wrote:
From: Beverly Lin sihui
Subject: Re: hellooooooo?
To: jamesuddin@yahoo.co.uk
Date: Friday, 31 October, 2008, 3:14 AM

So...I cannot be angry but you can? And I don't think that being angry is equivalent to being hostile and you me now is nothing because I can scream at people who make me furious and make them cry. That is being hostile. Annnnnnnd...you havent answered my question.
-Beverly

From: James Uddin
To: Beverly Lin sihui
Sent: Friday, 31 October 2008 8:44:05
Subject: Re: hellooooooo?

Sorry for my lateness. I find it hard to trust people at the best of times, especially when their attitude is so unbalanced, either friendly or hostile suddenly. I have grown up with friends who slip and slide, sometimes within the space of a day. Therefore although I am used to shifting friends, I naturally yearn for stability, someone who does not suddenly make a U-turn against me.
I have had so many people like this, who are friendly with me one day, and then hostile the next, I cannot count them. This is why I find it hard to trust people, and you are starting to act unstable like these people I have known. These people in the past have caused me great pain, as I placed too much faith and trust in them, and they abused that and stabbed me in the back.
You need to prove yourself trustworthy, as right now I am caught in two minds on the issue, whether to trust you or not.
Perhaps I am overstating myself, but I am closing myself off somewhat for security concerns.

--- On Thu, 30/10/08, Beverly Lin sihui wrote:

From: Beverly Lin sihui
Subject: hellooooooo?
To: jamesuddin@yahoo.co.uk
Date: Thursday, 30 October, 2008, 5:16 PM

You're taking an awfully long time to reply...stop putting me in suspense at what you've to say. ):

SO...I'm a risk of trust now? If I like you then you'll have to be able to trust me therefore, you do not really like me because I have doubts? All those heart-racing moments are all what then? Hallucinations? Mere imaginations? Do you ever have those moments? Honestly...tell me.

-Beverly

What.

2008-10-31T01:22:00.003+08:00

Standing Still by *trevg

You make my heart race and million
I want to pick out all the stars for you
Remove all your negativity because it's killing you
Want to see your smile for the first time
Hear you voice, your laughter to my jokes
Want to be able to touch your skin
Prove you exist for real.

What matters most
I have that craziness to run to you
Distance of 12342938572394091886723476235
Screw that
Make me go there
Make you come here
You and I
What exactly are we?

Torture me with an aching heart
Not knowing when your next blow comes
Saying I'm that pebble in your shoe that's not there
The sky is dark and light at the same time
The sun is black or is it
Doubting my sincerity
Do you really want me to like you
It's your call not mine.

Don't change the subjects
Don't change the noun
Don't change the verbs
Don't change anything
Answer my every doubts
Make my sky blue and clear
Crystal clear.

Or are we casual sex? A one-night stand? Been there, done that.

W-T-F?!

2008-10-31T00:45:00.001+08:00

I see. Like I said, there was no real curse, I simply played a trick. The power of suggestion is magic enough at times. ?!?!?!?!??!?!
It is a difficult subject to get to at the moment, as I am still somewhat shellshocked about what happened, as there was no warning. I am unsure whether I can trust you at the moment. I am also trying to use other subjects to distract you from negative thoughts, but it does not work, so I will stop changing the subject now.
I need time to ponder whether I should risk trusting you again.??!?!?!?!?!? If you really do like me, then I should be able to trust you, but I have doubts.
--J

--- On Thu, 30/10/08, Beverly Lin sihui wrote:

From: Beverly Lin sihui
Subject: Re: i'm not done... yet.
To: jamesuddin@yahoo.co.uk
Date: Thursday, 30 October, 2008, 3:03 PM

I deleted YahooIM after our big fight because I was too pissed and just deleted everything that reminded me of you. I mean... you must pretty much hate me loads to have done that curse thingy and all. Also, why do you keep avoiding the topic about US and that I've feelings for you??

I just saw the message through ebuddy. So you're not as bad as I thought since you did reply. (:

-Beverly

From: James Uddin
To: Beverly Lin sihui
Sent: Thursday, 30 October 2008 9:47:43
Subject: Re: i'm not done... yet.

I did actually send a message back, on Yahoo Messenger, but you obviously did not login to recieve it. It should still be there waiting. I automatically assumed that you did recieve the message.
I am willing ?!?!?!??!?! shouldn't that be me? to communicate with you again, but I'm not sure if I can survive a 3rd Revolution, so I will be more cautious this time.
I will find the time to watch those shows.
--James

--- On Thu, 30/10/08, Beverly Lin sihui wrote:
From: Beverly Lin sihui
Subject: Re: i'm not done... yet.
To: jamesuddin@yahoo.co.uk
Date: Thursday, 30 October, 2008, 3:17 AM

When I sent that ecard, I was thinking if I would get any response from you. You should have taken the opportunity to reply or something!! O_O I was kinda disappointed that you din't reply anything at all. If I had never sent that LONG email, will you ever write me again?

*The shows are on crunchyroll but if they're taken out, you can go to http://www.mysoju.com .
-Beverly

The rest of it bfore I went to bed.

2008-10-30T11:02:00.002+08:00

Until now, he hasn't addressed the issue that I've been saying I like him. He hasn't said that he likes me to me. YET. He really needs to read this blog. SERIOUSLY.HA! LIKE THAT'S EVER GONNA HAPPEN.

Oh yes I remember he has changed the spelling of his name, something about it being a Hebrew spelling of a powerful word.
If your friends really are protective walls, you should be able to show them everything without them leaving. If they leave, then they are not protective walls as much as they are frail fences that get blown away in the wind, or climbed over by criminals.
As for me, I was wondering if you would ever contact me again. Until my birthday I thought I had damaged you too badly for normalisation of friendship. (He should have took it as a sign to keep in contact. DUH!) If this can be fixed, anything can be done, as I have had far lesser things happen that are not fixable.
I will see about watching those things you listed, are they on Crunchyroll?
Once again, I am sorry for being so blind and careless. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DUH
I look forward to hearing from you.
--J

--- On Wed, 29/10/08, Beverly Lin sihui wrote:
From: Beverly Lin sihui
Subject: Re: i'm not done... yet.
To: jamesuddin@yahoo.co.uk
Date: Wednesday, 29 October, 2008, 6:33 PM

Thank you..I'm glad to hear that you're sorry. I'm sorry for what I've done as well, for hurting you. Kaleb(it's K now not C, he decided to change it). My friends have been my protective walls and I tell them everything except that I have a facade or maybe one or two of them knows. Maybe because I'm afraid that if I show it, they'll leave? Ok crap. I'm blogging all of this so they'll know now anyhow. If you want to know Kaleb told me you seemed like you were replying me for the sake of replying and that you were very "wu(2)liao(2)". He was saying also why were you talking about heritage and that he really feels like laughing after he read your reply.

I don't know why I do all that "garden/ house keeping" and maybe because I thought I could hide the ugly me since people tend to think I'm crude and don't act like a girl and be a girl for once. Who knew that I'll end up liking you (which I did not expect myself to) and causing all of this to happen because of my hiding. And I know of your incapability to sense things, I'm sorry for being so insensitive because I've never really had a friend who isn't able to sense/feel emotions normally. And maybe because I'm am loud person so ... I tend to lean towards overexpressive emotions. Which mean that when I told you I was crazy, it probably will translate to me being SUPER CRAZY and SUPERLY LOUD and SUPERLY VULGAR?????? Just watch ,"My Sassy Girl" and "My Tutor's Friend" and you'll know what I might be like in real life.

-Beverly

From: James Uddin
To: Beverly Lin sihui
Sent: Thursday, 30 October 2008 2:09:21
Subject: Re: i'm not done... yet.

Well, I do mean I am sorry, and I was responsible for everything here. I have never been in any situation like this before, so I might say exactly the opposite of what I actually want. What I want is for the wounds to heal. I am very sorry that I did this, and I will try not to do this again.
I thought your friends were your protective walls. When I talked to Caleb, he gave me the impression that he was looking out for you every step of the way, and I thought all your friends were like that. I wish I had lots of friends looking out for me.
Unfortunately I could not read what was said between you and him, as my computer can no longer support Chinese characters, and I cannot seem to be able to re-install it, and between you and me, this copy for windows is illegal, apparrently, so I am unable to download the software.
I am aware that you have been brushing all the crumbs under the carpet and weeding the garden so that I see only the good side of you, but I am incabable (It's incapable) of actually doing that, so you have been seeing the real me, and I am seeing a watered down version of you, so this might explain a fraction of the trouble.

WHAT?!?! HUH?!?!

2008-10-30T02:16:00.001+08:00

Sent this too!

2008-10-30T02:06:00.001+08:00

I post my emails between us on my blog so that my best friends will know. Here's what one has got to say. Oh and you know him. It's Kaleb.

beverlyHEELS *forbidden fruit says (1:58 AM):
readin?
Kaleb Ryo Tatsuya Salvete. Mihi nomen est kaleb. 20 Annos natus sum. Suava te cognoscere est says (1:59 AM):
done
Kaleb Ryo Tatsuya Salvete. Mihi nomen est kaleb. 20 Annos natus sum. Suava te cognoscere est says (1:59 AM):
his email like dun reply to ur email
Kaleb Ryo Tatsuya Salvete. Mihi nomen est kaleb. 20 Annos natus sum. Suava te cognoscere est says (1:59 AM):
hahaha
Kaleb Ryo Tatsuya Salvete. Mihi nomen est kaleb. 20 Annos natus sum. Suava te cognoscere est says (1:59 AM):
like 讲废话
Kaleb Ryo Tatsuya Salvete. Mihi nomen est kaleb. 20 Annos natus sum. Suava te cognoscere est says (2:01 AM):
为了reply 而 reply 你的 lor 他很无聊leiz
Kaleb Ryo Tatsuya Salvete. Mihi nomen est kaleb. 20 Annos natus sum. Suava te cognoscere est says (2:02 AM):
我看了都想笑咯
beverlyHEELS *forbidden fruit says (2:02 AM):
HAHAHHA
beverlyHEELS *forbidden fruit says (2:02 AM):
yea
beverlyHEELS *forbidden fruit says (2:02 AM):
exactly.
Kaleb Ryo Tatsuya Salvete. Mihi nomen est kaleb. 20 Annos natus sum. Suava te cognoscere est says (2:02 AM):
神经病的
beverlyHEELS *forbidden fruit says (2:02 AM):
can i tell him u said tt?
*
You have just sent a nudge.
*
You have just sent a nudge.
*
Kaleb Ryo Tatsuya Salvete. Mihi nomen est kaleb. 20 Annos natus sum. Suava te cognoscere est says (2:04 AM):
他讲什么heritage吗
Kaleb Ryo Tatsuya Salvete. Mihi nomen est kaleb. 20 Annos natus sum. Suava te cognoscere est says (2:04 AM):
可以
Kaleb Ryo Tatsuya Salvete. Mihi nomen est kaleb. 20 Annos natus sum. Suava te cognoscere est says (2:04 AM):
没问题的
beverlyHEELS *forbidden fruit says (2:04 AM):
HAHHAHAHA
Kaleb Ryo Tatsuya Salvete. Mihi nomen est kaleb. 20 Annos natus sum. Suava te cognoscere est says (2:05 AM):
anyway 我说的是真的吗 hahahahahahahaha

I have my sarcastic side too, if you havent noticed. It's still me, except I'm no longer nice.

I did sent that last line -points up- and looks like he's got nothing to reply.

Laugh or Cry?

2008-10-30T01:58:00.001+08:00

I have no idea whether to laugh or to cry, maybe I'm crying but the tears don't come so I'm laughing. Seriously. Why did you play that trick? It wasn't fun at all for both of us as you know the ending which was my outburst. And I really don't want to know what your mother thinks of me anymore. And because I've said I'm blunt, I'm going to completely change your idea of me because I say swear words ALL the time and... What The Fuck. Okay? What in the world does my email got to do with my heritage?!? I accept that I'm Chinese but I'm not from China, I'm Singaporean which mean no links to China at all. And recently China has not impressed me with all it's covering up and shallowness.

Oh, when I meant 4s and 8s it was the fact that you made the link between the numbers and our friendship. It has nothing to do with omens or the Olympians because as insecure as I am, I'm a positive thinker and that's why I can maintain my facade (only of which you know of and I have no idea why I'm telling you this) all the time.

Thank you for taking the blame but I was kinda expecting a ,"I'm sorry" especially after you decided to "curse" me. And if it's gnawing at your side, I wrote this email and I did not ask my friends for any opinions whatsoever.

Love to see what you have to say.
-Beverly

I SAID IT! I SAID WHAT THE FUCK.
OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's response.

2008-10-30T01:39:00.001+08:00

Re: i'm not done... yet.

James Uddin

ViewThursday, 30 October 2008 1:08:04

To:Beverly Lin sihui

OK, I will give an honest response. My mother did not actually place a curse, I was actually playing a mind trick, which was an atrocity that I should not have committed.
My mother thinks that you are mentally unstable, and she will probably have a go at me if I tell her I sent this message to you. I know for sure that you resent your heritage. I feel the same way about my British heritage at times, but I accept it, and I make peace with it.
You said that you were sad that I did not send hate mail. I sent no hate mail because I thought that would make things worse.
I also think I know why 4 and 8 appear everywhere, and it is nothing to do with me. 4 is a bad number, and 8 is a good number, so it represents the fight between good and evil. 4 and 8 added together makes 12, this represents the 12 Olympians the gods of ancient Greece, those who are fighting the fight. I thought about it last night in fact and arrived at this conclusion.
I thought my space talk was boring you and you were uninterested. I have few other interests, although my talk on herbs and crops are hardly interesting talk.
I will take the blame for your revolution. I accept that I was nudging you to breaking point, but I am like this. When I see something hanging loose, I have to poke it and set it free. I assume full responsibility for what we have both done, as I was the one that caused you to be upset, so all the things you said to me were my fault.
How many other people have the Chinese name Jinlong? The only other Jinlong I know of is the mayor of Beijing. James is a common name, but not Jinlong.
I await the rest of what you have to say.
--James

WHAT IN THE FUCKING WORLD DOES MY EMAIL HAVE TO DO WITH MY HERITAGE?!

Unclothed and Honest

2008-10-29T21:47:00.003+08:00

*Unclothed_and_Honest_by_ERIN_boo

As the title says, UNCLOTHED AND HONEST, that's what I am going to be with James. Honest and pouring my heart out to him. I have to tell him. Now that I've got that off my chest, I don't feel better at all. As much as I know he'll never forgive me, I hope he does because I don't think I'll ever forget him.
EVER.

Hi...it's been almost a month now. First of all, I'm really sorry. I know that you're still mad about my outburst at you and that you'll probably never forgive me and also because you said that you remember grudges. I did not send this on your birthday because I din't want to ruin it for you and because it was your birthday and that made me think more about you. And here is where I'll pour my guts out to you.

The thing is, that message that night was something that my friend typed out and asked me to send to you. I just dint want to admit that you do know me that well to even tell when something is from me or not. Okay, why will my friend type that? It's because I tell her about us and my feelings and my thoughts about you and well sometimes I know that because of your condition, it's hard for you to tell when I have sort of "switched off" in a conversation.

Personally, the only things about ET that I believe are that they exist. Somewhere out there so... when you go on about them for like an hour I'm completely spaced out and i have no idea what i should reply at times but i just think of something or else I'll admit that I have no idea what you're talking about. It's because we're talking so little, I sorta wanted us to talk about stuff that we both like. Like movies and music and random mundane things we do everyday, I still don't know what sort of movies and music that you like. That time, I asked for your voice clip for some friend of mine? It was just an excuse to hear your voice because (the whole world knows that) I like you and a girl who lives on the other end of the world wants to hear the voice of the guy she likes. Is there anything wrong with that? I know that you don't have means of recording but you could have used your aunt's camera or something to record and video to send me? I was going to use Caleb's international phone call card to call you then I remembered, I don't have your number. You can call me desperate or anything but I really wanted to hear your voice.

About my thoughts of your existence, you're right again. It was started by my friends and I started adding on to it, sometimes I think you're a person with a made up name and using his cousin's photos or else it's a group of teenage boys playing a prank. It's hard to believe that someone will like me needless say, the person that I like! I want so badly to reaffirm that you are real and that there is someone out there who really likes me. Then again, when I have convinced myself that you're real I'll have doubts that you're only liking me because you think you like me. Or because I like you and you don't want to hurt my feelings so you make yourself like me. I am a person with friends backstabbing me, and lying to me and ignoring me for no reason. I'm very, very insecure about myself and my capabilities to make true friends. Now that I have true friends, I have lesser of an attitude problem. I use to flare up for the tiniest things and my friends and I, we fight for no reason at all and can even fight and make up everyday. Soon I just started to give in because I don't want to lose any.

Not many have seen me lose it, it's only when I'm hurt or have loads bottled up inside will I because some sort of erupted volcano. It's either nice Beverly or raging Beverly on drugs, there's seldom an in between. Sometimes, I smile at my friends even when I'm screaming inside for the same reason(not to piss them). Until now, only my best friend Cherlyn has seen my truest, most ugly self.

For you, it's more bottled up and the reason why I told you that my blog is off-limits is also because I din't want you to hear my true thoughts and see that ugly person that I am. It's my fear of people running away from me, that drives more people away. The one main reason that I was so pissed that day was not that you told your mother about me but the fact that you forwarded the message for your mother, to me. The fact that you telling me she placed a curse on me. It really tore me apart that night because it was exactly what it seemed to me: you doing that, is approving all that she is saying about me. You were calling me crazy and you were cursing me, imagine me telling you all of that. Will you like it? Then again you might not like me as much as I like you so, the hurt might be lesser. I like you to the point where I can be ranting in the day, "Oh James din't come online again, 'cause he's got school" and when you do come online and go, "I'm sorry I late" or something... My heart immediately goes into "aw" mode and I'll think you're so cute telling me you're late and whatnots.

When I am pissed with someone, I can go all out and people have like you told me that I've changed but that is only when I'm really mad at somebody. I know that it must have hurt when I said that my time was wasted on you and I said it out of anger and there wasn't a filter between my brain and the computer keys. I regretted after a few days because I was thinking about it and I know that if you had said that to me, I'll rather your mother cursed me or you just shoot me. So I'm sorry that I said that even if it was out of anger because nobody is a waste of anybody's time.

I am going to be an ass and demand a response from you no matter how much you hate me or don't want to reply, and if you're not going to forgive me, you need to provide me with 10 fool-proof methods to forget you. Because:

1. I can go to town and shout your name at the top of my voice and 20 people will turn my direction and say, "YES?" And this doesn't include my cousin, my friend's boyfriend, my classmates, and my outside-of-school friends.
2. The stars come out at night and night happens EVERY night.
3. I see numbers 4 and 8 everywhere.
4. My friend just said her friend wanted to start everything afresh and claims he's from SPACE.
5. I get sad/happy/excited when I see your picture on Facebook.
6. I'm angry at you for doing all that you do to make me hate and like you.
7. I'm super sad that you did not even send me random hate mail to show that at least I'm still on your mind.
9. Because I miss your endless space talk.
10. Because I have a soft spot for you and (like my friend said),have made yourself pretty comfortable in there.

So. Tell me how in the WORLD?! am I suppose to forget you? It's remotely impossible. It's mission impossible.

Sincerely (still) yours,
Beverly

By the way, it's 1258 words in total. The email.

2008-10-29T01:19:00.002+08:00

* http://myplay.com/files/imagecache/ginormous_square/files/artist_images/backstreetBoys.jpg

There you go, caught you crashing my dreams again
Just when I'm trying to get over you.
I tell my heart but
I can't seem to comprehend
A day without you.
Now you're gone
Got a life
But I wear the scars
Reminding me by the hour
That it's time to accept it's the way the things are
I wish I could but...

Can't imagine it any other way
A world without you is only wasted space
You're gone and I'll always wonder
Why it can't be any other way, any other way

Since you drained all the color out of the sky
How am I supposed to feel
It's like I'm living in somebody else's life
Tell me it's not real

I can't imagine it any other way
A world without you is only wasted space
You're gone and I'll always wonder
Why it can't be any other way, any other way

Can't imagine it any other way
A world without you is only wasted space
You're gone and I'll always wonder
Why it can't be any other way, any other way

Like we never had a falling out
Like the tears, they never hit the ground
Like you're still here, you're still here

Since you drained all the color out of the sky

I can't imagine it any other way
A world without you is only wasted space
You're gone and I'll always wonder
Why it can't be any other way
[Why does it have to be, why does it have to be]
A world without you is only wasted space
You're gone and I'll always wonder
Why it can't be any other way, any other way

Thank you Backstreet Boys!!! It's something that I'm feeling as of now and WOW... a boy band feeling that?! AWESOME. O-K. I HAVE NO IDEA IF JAMES HAS SEEN THE ECARD BECAUSE HALLMARK.COM HAS NOT SENT ME THE EMAIL NOTIFICATION THAT HE HAS SEEN IT AND I GOT GOOSEBUMPS, THE WORKS JUST BY LOOKING AT HIS FACEBOOK.COM PROFILE PICTURE. Is it still crazy that I haven't deleted him off Facebook.com? But I don't want him to disappear off, EVEN if his mother did curse me and he DID forward every single drop of poison to me. Kinda regretting being myself that day. ):

i miss him LOADS. fuck it.

Watched HSM III with Fre today.

Zac Efron was GAY as ever on stage and FINALLY!
Somebody agrees with me on VanessLUT's nasal voice. Which she totally has.
Everyone in the show except Ashley Tisdale and Olesya Rulin and KayCee Stroh totally were NOT in character.
They hoochi-fied their roles ESP MISS VANESSLUT HUDGENS.
Songs were GREAT as usual!!! Love Ashley Tisdale and Lucus Grabeel.
The Evan Twins.

FIRST Vlog!

2008-10-27T22:06:00.005+08:00

Hey BABES! Uploaded my very first VLOG! Coolness! I'm gonna upload some pics of my newly updated room. My very own "Louvre"! YAYNESS!

Painted my white shelf and found an old girl guide board. Blue-tacked it up.

MY Mona Lisa/ a Da Vinci copy my mom had stashed somewhere in all the junk/ my batik

LASTLY....

MY SICK FACE.

*rock star.

2008-10-27T01:13:00.002+08:00

*XVII___The_Star_by_DalaiHarma

Mummy's such a ROCK STAR because she did NOT even yell at me when the retarded letter from the retarded poly came to tell about my missing classes for three days or more in a row. Which I TOTALLY did. But what's the use of going to poly when the freaking school treats you like a high school kid? RIDICULOUS.

Anyway...what does forbidden fruit taste like because I want to have my share in the form of a "panda". Since he's so nice....haix~ Why can't James be like that?! WHY?WHY?WHY? And his stupid birthday is coming up. Spaz me wants to wish him a "Happy 20th Birthday!" and thinks that he'll probably delete the message from his inbox and never respond. Sooooooo???

Why can't I ever have the green light for romance? Is it really that hard to find a guy who'll like me for who I am? Must I really tone down and act all ladylike? That's not me...DOH! I'm crazy...and loud....I don't want to be that petite..polite person?! I LIKE BEING BLUNT.

RAWR.......

ZHNGED

2008-10-26T22:34:00.001+08:00

NEWLY ZHNGED WATCH... and guess what?
It died on me again! As usual... my watch dies only when I wear it out and it stays alive when I don't wear it. WTF?!

WHISTLE REGISTER!

2008-10-24T10:48:00.003+08:00

OMGGGGGGGGGGG
OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
OMFFFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I CAN HIT WHISTLE REGISTER NOTES WHEN I'M SICK SORE THROAT!!!
WHISTLE REGISTER NOTES!!!
LIKE IN LOVING YOU!!! I CAN SING ALLLL THE NOTES!!!!!!!!
OMFGOMFGOMFGOMFG....LOVE SORE THROAT!!!!!!

10:50am:
hahaha...only could sing it like 2-3 times.. Officially cant sing those notes now. PAIN PAIN PAIN...WATER PLEASE! It's the first time I LOVE sore throat because I HIT THE NOTES IN LOVING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-24T02:21:00.002+08:00

*cough_it_up__by_polaroad

- COUGH!! COUGH!! COUGH!! COUGH!! COUGH!!- AHEM AHEM..
T_T I'm isck with sore throat but it's like dry coughing all the time and clearing my throat is like clearing nothing at all.

I'm thinking more of him now, since his birthday is nearing the corner. It's next tuesday, 28 October. Wonder how he's coping over there in the UK, he must have found talking to me a terrible chore. He's probably enjoying all the free time he has to play his PC games or eat his dinner at the normal pace without me IM-ing him all the time.

It's probably the best for both of us. Yeah...I'm sure it is. If we're fated to be, God will plan for us.
(=

2008-10-19T19:59:00.002+08:00

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG FUCK ME! FUCK ME! !@#$%^&*()*&^%$#@
DAMN IT, I DROPPED MY CANON POWERSHOT BECAUSE I WANTED TO TAKE A SHOT OF MY CONTACT LENSES. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGG

-SLAP/ DROPKICK/ BODY SLAM/ BOOB SLAP/ hang myself-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm such a bloody asshole.
damnit!!!!!!!!
omgomgomgomgomgomgomg.
MY CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!
SOMEBODY GO WITH ME TO SERVICE PLEASEEEE!

THE LENSES ARE CROOKED!!!!! IT CAN'T BE RETRACTED!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH....FUCKING MEGA VIDEO DIED ON ME!!!!!!!

-GRRRRRRRRRRRROWLLLLLLLL-
I WANT MY CAM FIXED AND UGLY BETTY NOOOOW!!!!!!!!!

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME GOD?!?!??!?!?!

L-O-V-E?

2008-10-19T03:19:00.002+08:00

*That_it_only_took_a_moment____by_lastscionz

Love is a many-splendored thing,
It's the April rose that only grows in the early spring,
Love is nature's way of giving a reason to be living,
The golden crown that makes a man a king.
Once on a high and windy hill,
In the morning mist two lovers kissed and the world stood still,
Then your fingers touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing,
Yes, true love's a many-splendored thing.

Really? For real? I don't think that it's that splendory at all. Since I haven't been love before and all..can all those who have tell me something about it? Should I be depressed over the fact that I've never had anyone other then my friends and family loving me?

PISSED.

2008-10-17T23:01:00.001+08:00

4W;JHB 9KSRUB JW03SREJIHUVK MW30RBF M940ISJBHV UHIRSDXMV UGRISHFVGJKIW34 UHKFVEIRDFH VJBIMRN JVGCFVB JISEUIHSUERHG9IFV SRDNFHUVJ 4IEOSDF V9IOPERJNDXB V ORISDFJ VILJDTIFOJV MDJIL VBUKHLISRJ FHDJBV MOJEB MIBSRTGUM MEDFBMV P HJRKVCMI HBMJSE,F VBWJ EKJFNM ,ODTJCVB MYLIDURFM VBJKTMDJ NBHJKIMDRT MGJVH JRDTJC HBVJ ,Q3L.4;WE D PUHI0M8TG

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCMKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKCFUFVK
I'M FUCKING PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

internal protest.

2008-10-17T18:23:00.002+08:00

*Star_Ferry__by_snowmask

Can I draw all my protests on you? If I could, you'll know that I am suppressing it every time I talk to you. TRUELY.

My insides are SCREAMING out to me because it's a brain thing to tell the body what to do. Without the brain, no body will be able to survive because there is nothing telling them what to do. So HELP!!!! BECAUSE MY BODY IS NOT RESPONDING TO THE SIGNALS OF MY BRAIN. AYE! What's wrong with you? Why haven't I learnt the lesson after what happened with James?! I'm not going to have to learn the same lesson again right!? It's kinda obvious the both of us at the start the reason why "WE" won't work and I still continued and in the end? Our friendship ended like 5 months into it. Gave almost my all and ended up getting hurt, both by him and his mother. Like....BF MUCH?!?! BF meaning Bitch Fit and not BoyFriend.

HAVE TO STOP THINKING OF HIM AND HOW ADORABLE HE IS AT TIMES. NO MATTER WHAT MY BODY SAYS, LISTEN TO THE BRAIN!! Listen to the internal protest!

Crazy lil' thing called love

2008-10-15T22:28:00.002+08:00

*sigh_by_chryztoph

-worried- DON'T FALL FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!!
DON'T DON'T DON'T.
FRIENDS ONLY.
FRIENDS!!!!!!!
F-R-I-E-N-D-S.
He probably only treats me as a friend. OK???!!!!!!
-SLAP SLAP. HIT HIT. SLAP SLAP-

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

My ivy covered lamp.

2008-10-15T01:18:00.002+08:00

Ivylight* By me.

Stumped that I did not complete stupid test in the 30 minutes given to us!!! ))= And it was for my favourite module too. Anyway... I've been a slacker for a long time since last week. W-T-F is going on with me, tired more often now that I got "Mr Good-Riddance!" out of my life, my safe-hole, my little tea cosy. Thankful that CPC, San San, SL for always telling me off for thinking about him and how I MIGHT forgive him because I DON'T WANT TO!!! Also to Sheri & Nesha & Blenz who helped psycho me through it! God Bless you all! And of course, NEVER FORGETTING my BBFFs( for 6 years) for being there when I complained about my UPs and DOWNs regarding "Mr Good-Riddance!". (((= can't ever smile if you both were'nt in my life!!!

HAHAHA...I FREAKING ASKED JOSH FOR HIS NUMBER! LIKE...W-T-F was I thinking about?!??! LAWLLLLLLLL... ... He was like "whaaaaaat.". HAHHAHA...TIO STUN! And he's crazy about BLACK BLACK BLACK. Meaning black hair with black eyes with black clothes, and that Asians are ADORABLE. GO US!!!!!!! hahahhaa xD And NO WAY... will I EVER wear a full light pink outfit with the whole *AC-FIED look. NEVER EVER.

Ps. I zhaoed class halfway today. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HAPPENING TO ME!??!!?! Where's my inspiration gone?!

Gladia...WHAT?!

2008-10-13T09:08:00.004+08:00

The YESes and NOs of Gladiators. Personally I think that Gladiator heels/ flats are MADE to clash with even the clothes that goes with it. It's to EDGE out a feminine look or to make a fierce look MORE EDGY AND GLADIATOR-ESS. However, not all starlets get the look because they can go from
THIS....TO HORRIFYING THAT.

*http://ngoisao.net/News/Thoi-trang/2007/09/3B9C0D31/gladiator_sandals.jpg

Gladiator number 2 will NEVER work with something as classic as a dress with a balero, even with a waist-thick belt to help edge-fy it. GLADIATORS??? MORE LIKE GLADIABLAH!!!!! Whatever happened to

That clean-cut gyspy hippie look with the sandals?

*http://www.collegefashion.net/trends/spring-fashion-trend-gladiator-heels/
Or the fullness of the dress that flows too good with the stiffness of the Gladiators?

*http://www.collegefashion.net/trends/spring-fashion-trend-gladiator-heels/
Or the classic-hot-legs look with Gladiator heels?

What ever happened to this Disney Starlets?

*http://www.runwaydaily.com/runwaydaily/images/2008/03/19/gladiator_sandals_on_ashley_tisdale.jpg

Uber casual to gorgeously glam?? Are you kidding me? Runwaydaily needs a brand new creative editor.

Leggings as pants?

2008-10-13T08:49:00.002+08:00

I think NOT! How can people possibly think that leggings are pants when they're SUPER tight and not to mention sheer at some point? Noticeable VPLs and Cameltoes!? Erm...the Fashion Police should have caught on to it by now. Not all of us can be Lindsay Lohan.

*http://images.usatoday.com/life/_photos/2006/05/11/lohan-getty.jpg

She's a HOLLYWOOD actress for one and not all of us are actresses needless say Hollywood starlets! WEM Losers!!!!!! Furthermore, open your big eyes are see that LL's actually wearing Leggings ACCORDING to the book(<---not often and that's where I'll totally go against her). It's pants paired with a top that actually COVERS HER ASS! O_O shocker that lots of girls in Singapore did not catch that? I agree with the article that when people wear normal cotton Tees with your normal leggings, it's PURE LAZINESS to find something that would actually work with the top! SERIOUSLY.

Find yourself a matching top becfore you attempt around walk down Orchard Road or worse, your school. Seriously! No guy/ girl will want to see your *tush* hanging out, with VPLs and Cameltoes.
UN..SIGHTLY!
Here's one SERIOUSLY bad example: Sierra Miller

*http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2007/01/Sienna%20Miller%20Underwear.JPG

He NEEDS to apologise

2008-10-11T02:23:00.003+08:00

*sorry_by_fludish
He better look like this when he EVENTUALLY does apologise for his SINS.

Don't apologise for nothing! Apologise for allowing it to happen and apologise for breaking my heart. Seriously, he NEEDS to EFFING apolgise to me. EVEN IF:
1. I might not ever forgive him completely
2. Or I might
3. Or... I'll totally piss him into apologising and when he does, I'll just diss him.

What the hey! He's just another pebble in my shoe, a FUCKINGLY IRRITATING ONE THAT IS, that doesn't want to come put no matter how many times I jerk the EFFING shoe.

Totally had a fun time with Jean/ HER James/ Fre...hahaha. Made me remember but then forgot about HIM for the whole night later on because J's James was being funny and gross at the same time. Only got reminded when J's James talked about playing with the Ouji board, which totally reminded me of HIM. Connected to like spirits/ witchcraft and all. Fre totally understood too. Like thanks you all! Love ya to bitx for helping me cope. HAHAHA

**Can't wait for BBFFs OUTING!

Chromatic thoughts

2008-10-08T21:23:00.003+08:00

*http://www.ubergizmo.com/

Latest iPod ever! As the picture says it's called "nano-chromatic", ain't it cool or what?! I want that iPod... so prettttttttyyyy~ Reason for this picture because it kinda reminds of my current feelings/ mood. Chromatic scales= all the notes on the piano although it leans towards being more minor-ish, it gives me that feeling it's neither major nor minor but it's both TOGETHER. Because of "AHEM!" it's making me all PMS-y at times and just be a stoner at other times. Having my adrenaline pumping everytime I get reminded of "AHEM!" because there are SO MANY people with that name or when "AHEM!" suddenly creeps into my mind.

I hate "AHEM!".
Thanks for all the LAUGHS/ FIRSTS you gave me but that's not worth it, now that you broke my heart.

2008-10-06T00:13:00.000+08:00

쌉빌놈!!!!!!!!!

new YORK NEW york

2008-10-04T00:21:00.013+08:00

Suggested to my mother to go for dinner at "new YORK new YORK". >__<
"wel...COME!!" OMGNESS AT THE HORRENDOUS ENGLISH THAT GREETS US WHEN WE ENTER. It was a terrible attempt to welcome the customers because "bo feel..." ALAMAK! It's the same failed attempt as the Japanese Restaurants', "masa...MA...SA!!!!!!!"-.- it's ARASHIMASE!!!!!!!!!! FOR GAWD'S SAKE.

We ordered MEAT PLATTER!!!!!!!!
DELISH!

YUMMY SPRING CHICKEN!!!

SWEET AND SOUR COLESAW!!!!!!!
WOOTS*

RAWRRRRRRRRRR.... SLURP! SHUUU!!!!

Mmmm....MMMHHH!

OUR MASTERPIECE!!
WE FINISHED IT ALL!!!!

FULL ON MASTICATED CHICKEN.

Here's the number one murderer!!!!

That chicken was delicious!! Need to quench my thirst.

Murderer no. 2: MOMMY.

Murderer no. 3: ME!!!
[Thinking: OMGOMGOMG. I'M EFFING UNGLAM.]

The End.

Get out of my head.

2008-10-03T13:44:00.003+08:00

*Get_Out_by_ShieldedWords

Get out. GET THE HELL OUTTA MY HEAD!
Yesterday wasn't very hard but I was still FREAKING pissed over that person and," Thank you my friends for psycho-ing me more" xD I'm gonna psycho my friends who need me too!! Muackx~

I love my BBFFs and my BFFs because they were there for me when I was down because of HIM and they were there during the HAPPY times. Well there's that saying " Before you meet your prince, you get to kiss a lot of frogs". APPARENTLY. HE'S A TOAD!!

Training today was fun AT THE START because RPWS came to be music accompaniment and it went downhill because I was made to sing Soprano one in "Candyman". I was like "WTF" because I really practiced SO much for the lead part to get it and to make sure that I got every note right and now I've to learn the Soprano one in such a short time. Why can't they all practice at home? Get it right! It's not THAT hard at all, this song. Furthermore there was enough time to get it with the midi and all. If I can get it on monday, you all better get it down by then.

The Tenors have to SERIOUSLY practice OK. WTH, it's not that hard.
** He BETTER apologise.

HE FUCKING CURSED ME.

2008-09-30T13:52:00.003+08:00

♥JAJA (9/30/2008 3:33:13 AM): My mother just told me to tell you these very words "She's a fucking unstable twat" and she also said "She's a couple of cans short of a six pack" (in Britain, that is to say one is crazy) She is also sending out a very nasty curse in your direction in revenge for hirting her only son. The curse will end when you wake ap and realise that what you have done is evil.

OHHHHHHHH....I'M SO SCARED.
SO THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO THE PERSON THAT YOU LIKE.

Beverly Lin sihui: So that's what you do to the person that you LIKE. I can't imagine what you'll do to me if you really hated me. You've just made me ask myself why I had wasted my time on someone who will curse me when I am angry and who I am.
Beverly Lin sihui: just grow up and stop telling me on your mom.

Problem Statement: Is there hope?

2008-09-30T02:22:00.008+08:00

*Suicide_by_ImmaculateMurder

If only I were brave enough to do so because it's getting harder and harder at times to talk to James because he's being so UNEMOTIONAL at times and I can't stand it at times. In the end, the people at the receiving end are my BFFs and good friends who comfort me or ask me to confront him. I guess being brave for my friends is being different having courage to face James at times.

Our chats are getting from bad to worse, longer ones to shorter ones. He doesn't like talk to me as much even when I do not respond to him. What am I suppose to do?? It's probably not meant to be, and I have a feeling that sooner or later the feelings will fade to oblivion and I'll only treat him as my friend. This cannot go on!! Or else... THAT will happen.

This is our conversation.

♥JAJA: Hi, I am online today <---What kind of start of a conversation is this??!
♥JAJA: u there?
Beverly Lin sihui: yeap!
♥JAJA: I almost thought you had dozed off or something
Beverly Lin sihui: i was brushin my teeth
♥JAJA: ah
♥JAJA: so you will be going to sleep very shortly then
Beverly Lin sihui: depends
Beverly Lin sihui: hhaha
Beverly Lin sihui: ive got no sch for THREE DAYS!
♥JAJA: wow, nice
Beverly Lin sihui: haha
Beverly Lin sihui: xD
♥JAJA: hehe
♥JAJA: well, I had my Chinese lesson yesterday, and my teacher is impressed with my skill.
♥JAJA: Also, I was glad when China's spacemen came home safely
Beverly Lin sihui: YAY for your chinese lesson!!!
Beverly Lin sihui: ))= for e safe journey back
Beverly Lin sihui: hahaha
Beverly Lin sihui: i'm so cruel
Beverly Lin sihui: haha
♥JAJA: the three astronauts were selected in 1998, and have put a lot or work for that mission, they were very brave going up there, especially Zhai Zhigang.
Beverly Lin sihui: haha..ok, fine i'll clap for thm
♥JAJA: hehe
♥JAJA: I know you are not exactly proud of China's space program
Beverly Lin sihui: xD nono, nt tt im nt proud of e space program. Not proud of china
♥JAJA: well, it is your grandmother country, so show it some respect <--- So fierce for what?
♥JAJA: 5000 years of culture and civilisation, you can't knock that
Beverly Lin sihui: ))))= i overslpt in e bus today. Banged my head against the window and woke up.
♥JAJA: eek! Ouch! and hehheheheheheheh!
Beverly Lin sihui: ))))))))))))))=
♥JAJA: I can never sleep while on the move, it does not seem to be in my nature
Beverly Lin sihui: u laugh at me....
Beverly Lin sihui: T_T
♥JAJA: well, seeing somone headbobbing seems funny to me
Beverly Lin sihui: )):
♥JAJA: there was something I saw long ago, but I cannot find it anymore, something far worse than simple head bobbing. Someone was asleep on a waterbed or something very bouncy, and someone else jumped on it, and the sleeping man went flying!
Beverly Lin sihui: lol!!
Beverly Lin sihui: but tt's so bad!!!!
♥JAJA: hehe I could not help it
Beverly Lin sihui: well, e bus ride's quite smooth and i fall aslp everytime I return home from school. School's tiring..)=
♥JAJA: hehe I know how you feel, I sometimes end up crashing out when I get back home
Beverly Lin sihui: )= u noe how i feel yet.....so unsympathetic for me!!!
♥JAJA: well, I do find it hard showing emotions, but that does not mean I dont have them
Beverly Lin sihui: well...u can learn right?? I mean slowly?
♥JAJA: I guess
♥JAJA: I have just been in an environment where people keep their emotions below the surface, and I do this more than anyone else
Beverly Lin sihui: well..dere's always a first..((=
♥JAJA: indeed

What's there to talk about??? *sobs* I feel like going off and not tell him at times to let him know what it is like to be at the receiving end of it. ))= But just not having the heart to do so. Just hearing from SL that he went for dinner and my reaction was W-T-F because he din't tell me any thing.

3:15AM

♥JAJA: Hi, I just had my dinner
Beverly Lin sihui: haha, ya, caleb told me
Beverly Lin sihui: hahaha
Beverly Lin sihui: LOL
♥JAJA: ah
♥JAJA: he went to bed a few moments ago
♥JAJA: I wanted to get back to him, but I took way too long
Beverly Lin sihui: hha, he's gng to bed
Beverly Lin sihui: haha
♥JAJA: I think I told you about my Chinese name, Jin Long. I found out that there is a temple in Singapore by that very name
♥JAJA: hehe
Beverly Lin sihui: there is?
Beverly Lin sihui: i din't even noe tt
♥JAJA: yes, in Serangoon
♥JAJA: there are protests because the government is trying to move the site
Beverly Lin sihui: i don't stay in serangoon!
Beverly Lin sihui: so i dont noe
♥JAJA: there is an a sacred tree there, and it would be defiled if it were moved
♥JAJA: It serves Taoists and Buddhists, as well as other Chinese traditional faiths
Beverly Lin sihui: i havent been to a temple in a long while
♥JAJA: I know
♥JAJA: you follow western ways now
♥JAJA: I found out that the Mayor of Beijing is also called Jinlong
♥JAJA: hehe
♥JAJA: otherwise it seems to be a rather rare name
♥JAJA: you still there?
Beverly Lin sihui: yea..
Beverly Lin sihui: actually....i know where ure coming from, not able to be emotional and all..but since all these are after all online...i wouldnt know for sure if ure telling me the truth after all?Initially yes i believed you.. but the more you emphasised your "condition" especially whenever youre trying to get away from the fact that you just arent commited enough, the more i find myself not really buying excuses anymore. i am really disappointed if that is the case just try n put myself into ur shoes. Truth is, sometimes, I don't even noe whether to believe if you exist as you. Tt's how i feel :/
♥JAJA: we've been through this
♥JAJA: I am real
♥JAJA: and yes, I find it hard to commit myself to something
♥JAJA: you seem to be having another "revolution"
♥JAJA: If that's how you are going to be, then I will let you have your revolution. I am not sure I will like the new you and much as I like the old you.
Beverly Lin Sihui: WHY R U ALWAYS THINKING I'M THE ONE WHOS CHANGING WHEN ITS NT MY FAULT!?? THE WAY I FEEL NOW JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU HAVENT PROVEN ENOUGH TO ME THAT YOU'RE AS REAL AS U SO CLAIM YOU ARE. I've been feeling like that for a VERY long time just that I'm controlling everything because I don't want to hurt you.
♥JAJA: I see. A revolution
♥JAJA: what sparked this off? new ideas?
♥JAJA: last time you were hyped up because someone else had it
♥JAJA: who's the scaremonger? who has been telling you things they cannot prove?
Beverly Lin sihui: NOBODY.
♥JAJA: then someTHING has been feeding you with false information
Beverly Lin sihui: THING? I can think on my own n I don't need someTHING telling me anyTHING
♥JAJA: then why the revolution?
Beverly Lin sihui: There's no revolution, that's my brain
♥JAJA: well, in the name of the 12 Olympians, I pray that you come to your senses soon
♥JAJA: and that the aliens let go of your mind before they make your head explode

OK, I'M FUCKING PISSED NOW.
Answer to Problem Statement: No, there is not.
And.....IF HE EVER WANTS TO TALK TO ME, HE BETTER APOLOGISE. AND HE BETTER HOPE IT'S NOT TOO LITTLE TOO LATE.

What happens to a stress-stricken girl

2008-09-30T00:39:00.027+08:00

*peace_by_seelenfaengerin

Music's in Heaven now...(((= I'm so sad for Jean's loss! Poor music! Well, maybe it's his time to finally be with God. He's in a place with no pain, no hunger, no poverty. God and his angels will look after him. God, please give Jean the strength she needs to carry on.

AHHHHHHHHH I'M SO SIAN IN CLASS! Luckily there's Josh(from FB) and all my friends(in MSN) to talk to! And PASTA's like, I think ignoring me??! HELLOOOOOO?? You wanted to add me mister. =.= read my eyes. JOSH ROCKX! And my "Winnie the Pooh" family is coming together now!

CPC is Winnie
i'm Eeyore
Josh is Tigger
Song Lin is Roo!!

Anymore applicants???

Class was sucky as usual!!!
Duh, HELLO?!?! CELL CYCLE LEI!

*****
After school, I went to meet with my mates and practice Candyman till like 6PM then went to break fast for Aizat. Stupid Malay girl snatched our place. We're fooling around with our cameras and took some shots. Before that, we went MAD with the arcade game. BANG BANG BANG!!!!

Random Colages!!!

Hmm...
WTF.
Saw "LAN Kar er"

SAW ANGMOH
ANGMOH SAW ME
Reminded me of JAJA

HUH???
HAAA!!!
FUCK YOU LA!

The famous 3 AC shots!

AW~~~~ Rabbit CPC!!!

Bleeeeeeeeeeahhhhhh!!!!!

Hrrumph... Look at that blurry arm!!!
WTF!!

Who is SJ talking to???
LMAO!!!! Must be her BF!

Singapore's very own: Mr Donaald Trumpp

Eugene BULLY ME!!!!!!!!!
*going bongus*

Don't I look handsome?

SO SWEET TOGETHER!!!! <3

Aizat, "I <3 my iphone!

CPC, " I wonder is Aizat loves me more then his iphone?"
Loves me, loves me not...
*sobs*

"Yay!!! He loves me!!!"
*KISS KISS!!!!

Look at Aizat!!!
SOOOOOO cute sia together!!!!
MUACKXXXX~~~

CPC, " You say you want to buy me 5 carat engagement ring lor"
Aizat, "Ok la... ok la, you so pretty and cute!"
CPC smiles secretly.

Aizat, "I'M JOKING LA!"
CPC, " WTF, STUPID AIZAT"
*sobs*

"CRRRAP, I'm so busted."
Just smile... just smile...
-Gosh, he thinks he can get away with being "handsome"-

CPC is "hmm?!-ing"

Eugene doing what sia!??!
Eugene: "AHHHH... eat mum mum..."
CPC: "Ah goo...gooo.."

HAHAHHA, AIZAT'S PIZZA FACE!

This is an UNGLAM shot people!!!
Learn from The Master.

Hahaha, we all took a photo when SJ with her
*BOYFRIENDDDD!!!!!

SJ act cute sia!!!

Crystalline

2008-09-26T00:48:00.003+08:00

*crystalline

This is my favourite shot of the pair of Swarovski crystalline chandelier earrings which I made for my friend's birthday gift. OH NOS... I forgot to give my blessings to Sandy again!! For her birthday. Here's a big one to you BABE!!

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! MUACKXX...XOXO!!

For any of you who want a pair, I can try and make one and sell to you for "friends" price! x)) Or else, another time like your birthday! Song lin, if you can find peacock feathers, I can try and customize it! But you need to find those with e hooks already. ((((=

Rhapsody training was FUN!! I got chosen as solos for 2 songs! "Emotion" and "A moment like this" x))

JAJA's offline again! )))))))x

What is love?

2008-09-25T00:36:00.007+08:00

*love_by_laurapora

What is LOVE? According to "The free Dictionary" under love it's first meaning is: "A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness". Is that what I feel whenever I talk with JAJA? Is it possible that I do not actually in-a-sense LOVE him even when I claim I have "fallen in LOVE" with him and my friend actually feels that I'm 95% in love with him.
"HUH!!!!!!!!!".
So what am I suppose to do now?? I have no idea what I'll do if one day, he turns out to already have a girl or found one from his school.

Being in "love", I should be able to talk to him about anything but I feel that every time we chat on YAHOO! he always wants to tell me about some war news or it will be about his sci fi world. In the end, I feel that I'm waiting for nothing! I want to know about HIM and not about things which he make up or things about the world. I want to know about his life and how it had been when I could not talk to him! Missing him LOADS but he doesn't seem to feel that same way about it or else he would have left me offline messages. Y_Y so.... I have decided to let him go for now and will not wait for him online. At the same time, I will be able to see how much I "mean" to him.

FYP today, only Hafizah and Sherilyn came. We did sonication, protein purification and lastly AP assay.
Here's a picture of our AP assay!

YAY!!! There was like instant colour change for my Res proteins! Happy like hell! That might mean that C3 does affect the AP activity in the normal plasmid. Because Res does not have C3 in it and there was binding!!! SO!!!!! C3 does affect it! \^^/blablabla.. dont care about it anyway. Just gimme a good grade.

JAJA din't come online today and weird Glenn IM-ed again. -.- Got to chat with FB josh and IP Griffen! xD

starbucks?

2008-09-23T19:41:00.003+08:00

*starbucks_by_llnanooll

Waking up to my dad's "it's-645-already" alarm clock was the signal for my to pull my covers up, over my head. I was not over the fact that school started about three weeks ago and still want to be able to sleep till the sunlight is "grilling my butt". It should be made a SIN for us to wake up so early in the morning. So I slept for 15 minutes more and hauled myself out of bed today, did all my washing up and was ready to leave the house under half an hour. OH YEA.. woots. Missed my stupid bus by a mere 5 minutes and had to take my 2nd option bus which will reach the interchange at 8. My friend Felicia was on the bus which was TOTAL "coolness", only got to chat with her after alighting at the interchange. Apparently this guy who sat next to her was falling asleep and poor Fel was squished to the side of the seat because he was leaning in nearer and nearer towards her with every bump the bus made. Got to school and already felt like skipping out on class because it was a TUESDAY, which meant... "SCIIIIIIENCE!!!!!". It IS awful in my opinion and "ya~urk!" so XP to science!!!! I love THURDAYS AND FRIDAYS because they are my favourite days of the week. A Cappella training's on THURS and "Reasoning through the ages" module is on Fri! ABSOLUTELY FABO!!!!
I SHOULD BE IN STARBUCKS SIPPING MY WHITE CHOCOLATE MOCHA NOW.

First meeting was just CRAWLING by and when 1ST BREAK came, I was HIGH because it's BFFs eating time!! Went down to meet my BFFs and talked about contact lenses and what nots. O.o we might be forming a band too!! COOLNESS!!! -.- back in class after one hour of being high on BFF-ship and it was BORING ASS!! Furthermore I was like "????!?!??" throughout the whole time so I am very thankful to God for placing me in the most FANTASTIC team in the world. With Alfred, Rodney and Yu Song(gorgor) in my team, I feel SO BLESSED! They are like UBER patient with me and taught me everything in the MOST LAY MAN TERMS and every possible way for me to understand. THANK YOU!!! XOXO to all three of you! Especially 오빠, thank you for explain it all to (moronic) me and actually making me stay in class and not skip the presentation!! I could kiss u now!!! I skipped out after my presenation because I just could stand the tense environment in the classroom and made an excuse that I have family problem to tend to Xp and went to be with my BFFs in the cafe at E1 block. The "aunties" at the cafe gave me some bites of this nice cake which was for a function tomorrow. It was "devilish-iously DELISH!" and came in two flavours!! YUMmy! Went off at about 4pm and met Freda 1/2way to the interchange. "Thanks BABE! For waiting for me in the sun" xD PHEW worked out like hell today and still feeling "sweaty" about it. YAY!! If I can continue this like 3 times a week I'm sure I'll lose weight and all that BABY PHAT in no time! James din't come online yesterday...I HOPE that he does tonight? xD

FIEEEEEEEEEERCCCCCCE!

2008-09-22T22:56:00.002+08:00

*the_cat_with_boots___by_m0thyyku

*My_Cat_by_Joffi

I thought these two photographs are ABSOLUTELY "fabo". The first one with the striped cat is TOTALLY emotional because I can just feel the sadness which is shown COMPLETELY in its eyes. And the second shot is FIEEEERCCCCCE!!!!! As Tyra says, it's ALWAYS in the eyes. And I completely agree with her! It was so fierce I din't know which picture to choose to post on my blog.

Ok, here's the scoop. I wore my blue collared tee today with my grey Cotton On shorts and green slippers, I had a gut feeling that I might have lab today? But in the end, I did not bother to follow that feeling and just went to school. As I was walking to my block, I passed the laboratory block and I saw my classmates there. LIKE OMG OK. I panicked like HELL and immediately turned into that block and sat the lift up to the third level to check my work-space. It was like, "THERE WERE NO ANNOUNCEMENTS LA." and after that I met the gang at w4. Mike was IM-ing the moment I was online!! "AWWW~" but he stopped talking like after a while. -.- He's like ALWAYS like that. LAMENESS. Which girl will believe that a guy likes me when he talks like SO LITTLE?? HUH! hahhaha... at least JAJA still talks to me! Maybe that's where Mike failed and JAJA succeeded! xDD ♥♥♥♥♥

I went to meet and eat with the gang, sansan and CPC were scolding me 'cause I dint tell them I was ponning school,,oh well! hahahha...blablabla...den i met Freda and we talked about our angmoh fetish and all...

THE END. I'm tired.
Oh, JAJA's not online. )=

Fun @ POPO's

2008-09-20T22:01:00.000+08:00

MY COUSINS ARE SUPREME MODELS!!!!
Maybe they're just super cute and because I'm a good photographer? Xp

Had the craziest time at POPO's house today because I was playing with ALL 4 cousins of mine. Plus my favourite ones sat home in my parent's car and played with them all the way back. My poor brother got prodded by both of them. WHAT GREAT FUN!

What made the best topping was, JAJA was online!!! >___< hehhehehhe...

GRILL!!!! GRILL!!!! GRILL!!!! GRILL!!!! GRILL!!!!

2008-09-19T15:03:00.002+08:00

*http://www.damienmason.com

LET'S SCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAM!!!!! IT'S TENSE IN THE HOUSE E26E!! Everyone's fighting for their rights and that their own interpretation is correct. I agree with Michelle that they are not very open to the thoughts of other but actually she's a little not open too, because she keeps saying that classification is a form of labeling. Well, it's their point of view I guess...((= I'm open to all opinions just not weird ones that have no linkage to what we are talking about. Which KH does ALL the time. Mich and I were panicking and we snatch the job of compiling to ourselves to make sure that things do not go off topic or the slides get jumbled up. In the end, KH still managed to take some Nigel's points. Mich and I kept laughing la... xD After that was just like...
GRILL!!!! GRILL!!!! GRILL!!!! GRILL!!!! GRILL!!!!
O_O la.
Class was like finally OVER, but I thought that this GIRL who was like harping on how long the lesson will take to end, it was like, "What are you doing here then?". I didn't mind the lesson going on for a few more hours, but I reckon it's the sleep-less-ness that got the better of me. I have no idea why I can't sleep well on Thursdays' nights. Maybe it's because I stay up to wait for someone and I end up sleeping till like 12pm the same day. So I can't sleep early. Lesson learnt.

During the 6P, N and I were fooling around on MSN after I added him. He was Lindsay Lohan and we were talking about "Paris Hilton diamond lenses webcams" and it's power and our family. "Her" hubby Michael Phelps and mine, WHO ELSE. HAHAHA...damn funny la. Made my day.
***

I Still Believe by Hayden Panettiere
Some how I know I will find a way
To a brighter day in the sun
Somewhere I know that he awaits for me
Someday soon he'll see I'm the one

I wont give up on this feeling
And nothing could keep me away

Cause I still believe in destiny
That you and i were meant to be
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above
Cause I still believe
Believe in love

I know whats real cannot be denied
Although it may hide for awhile
With just one touch love can conquer fears
Turning all your tears into smiles

Its such a wondrous feeling
I know that my heart can't be wrong

Cause I still believe in destiny
That you and i were meant to be
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above
Cause I still believe
Believe in love

Love can make miracles
Change everything
Lift you from the darkness and make your heart sing
Love is forever
When you fall
Its the greatest power of all

Cause I still believe in destiny
That you and i were meant to be
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above
Cause I still believe
Believe in love

Yes I still believe
Believe in love
Still I still believe
Believe in love
Believe in love...
***

Truly, it is the GREATEST power of all. Love. My love for God, my love for my family, my love for my BBFFs & BFFs and my love for JAJA. But "Duh!" it's obvious who this song is for right, none other than JAJA. 'Cause I can't have this kind of love for any of the people I stated above. It will be so wrong! Hello?? JAJA din't reply to my offline message can? Like "WTF." )'= Doesn't he want to know what SL say to me?? Or SAID to me(LONG TIME AGO)?

WOOTS.

2008-09-18T23:02:00.005+08:00

Here's me competing with XIAXUE's eyelashes collection with my earrings collection!!!
Hrrumph! See if she can beat me!?

WHITE box.
For those which can't be put in neither the RED nor GREEN because it's too BIG.

GREEN: From Arabian/ Bohemian type of earrings
RED: From those I made and more classi-er looking ones.

WOOTS!

Training today was -.- because the boys were like cock-voice and hearing for both the songs and the warm ups. It's because they don't listen and when they do, it goes out the other ear. Esp Mr H. who does not even bother to make sure he sings it correct but like to make sure other people do. -.-

JAMES din't come online la.
Look at what he replied to my message.

Beverly Lin sihui: I.....heard smth from Caleb xD haha..made my heart skip a beat
♥JAJA: Hi, sorry I did not get online today, I got home far later than I had hoped, and then my mother became very possessive over the computer. Speaking of Caleb I have not spoken with him in a long time. He goes to bed earlier than you and so I rarely get chance to talk to him.(?!??!?!??!?! That's not a reply!) I went to the bookshop today and got The Analects. I hope to gain some sense of understanding and new wisdom from it. I might be able to talk with you tomorrow, or maybe not. The best chance would be Saturday(WHAT???! Is he like trying to MURDER me or what?) I think.

hart to trust

2008-09-18T01:28:00.003+08:00

*i_find_it_hart_to_trust__by_freckledmystery

I do find it hard to trust... it's a SAD SAD life for me because JAJA's started school and the time difference is making things harder for us to talk. Missing him even though we've talked yesterday and maybe it's because we haven't chatted in a while. And today he's not online YET again!!! And I thought he told me that he has his Wednesdays OFF? Why is he not online then?? It's 6PM on a Wednesday now and he hasn't replied my offline message to him.

Beverly Lin: I.....heard smth from Caleb xD haha..made my heart skip a beat

I know it's kinda stupid because I ALREADY know about it LONG AGO that he said he likes me but, I want to discuss that topic about US again... I kinda miss that time where he was so serious about me moving to UK to study so we can be like at least within a phone's call away? Obviously I will NOT be able to do that, but him telling me that is IMPORTANT to me... At least it shows he cares? Or maybe wants to see me? Or go out with me??

-sigh- so how can I trust that I still have his heart, even though mine has SUPER-GLUED itself to him?

Blue Lenses!!!

2008-09-17T20:24:00.002+08:00

Coloured lenses are the "in" thing now and I got mine today!! It's Freshlook blue contacts!! COOLNESS EH? It was like damn hard to take it off! Especially at the shop doing my consulting appointment with the optician. I must have looked like I was crying because I had to practice wearing it and removing it. And because it's coloured contacts, I have a blurring effect on the rims of my eyes as that's the colour that is blocking that part of the vision by a bit. HAHAHA.. it expires on 02/2012 so I don't have to finish all!! >.< HAHA...YAY!

1:16AM: guess what? No sign of you-know-who.

2008-09-16T15:08:00.003+08:00

*Suicide_by_celticwillow

DEATH BY PBL. Imagine that on the cover page of the newpaper because i almost died of stress today. Because I was terrified that I will not be able to grasp the topic about how the functions of the proteins but thank goodness for "Kalaivani" and my "Wupa Yu Song" that helped me throughout my day!! HAHA... Miss those fun year one days where Wupa and I had so much fun in class!!! xDDD

HEHEHHE....00:27AM JAJA'S ONLINE!!! =P=P=P

2008-09-15T14:34:00.004+08:00

* http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2216/2382347703_00fb66fe94.jpg?v=0

Here's her UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL. TOO GORGEOUS TO IGNORE.

*Agyness__1_by_Jordan_Michael

Ignore the number title because it should have been Agyness Deyn and because there is not title. Did not take it from Deviantart hence the weird number. Second one's GORGEOUS!!! LOOK AT HER BONE STRUCTURE!!

Amen to ANGMOHS. ANG MOHS PARADISE

2008-09-14T21:55:00.004+08:00

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG....WENT TO THE AIRPORT TO GET MY(the-moment-she-was-home-she-started-nagging-and-screaming-at-us-for-not-doing-the-chores)MOTHER AND I SAW ANGMOHS!!!!!!!!! ONE BIG GROUP OF ANGMOHS!!!!!!! BLONDES AND BRUNETTES!!!! YOUNG 20+ YEAR OLD ANGMOHS!!!!!!!! I HAVE DIED AND GO TO ANG MOH HEAVEN. SIGH!!!!!!!!!!! (like uhhhhhh~~~ kinda pervvy but still..it's really WHOOOO!!) God created Angmohs and it was GOOD.
THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!

2008-09-14T15:49:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHHA.... NICE MAN THAT ALFRED!!!!

it's an EFFING day

2008-09-13T23:07:00.002+08:00

*This_is_a_fucking_day_by_Helmet_Boy

WHAT A FUCKING DAY for me. I woke up at about 12PM because my stupid father called to nag at me, "You just wake up ah, I thought you're going to wash the clothes? Better wash or else later your mother come back then scold you." FUCK LA. WAKE UP AND THE FIRST THING I GET IT THAT. GO TO HELL OK.

Did the EFFING wash and I almost fainted because I did the effing wash (without eating), to make sure that my stupid father does not scold me when he comes back. And I had like my period!!!! SECOND DAY SOMEMORE!!! X_X almost died.

I finish watching Australia's next top model and HA-HA-I-KNEW-IT Demelza won. She's CRAP how in the world did she win?? And it's not Alexandra's fault that she lost! It was because she had a skeletal condition in which she could not wear heels and it might have made it worse! SHE SHOULD HAVE WON!!! Either Samantha or Alexandra! Not FUCKING-MY-MOTTO-IN-LIFE-IS-"Don't be a bitch"-BUT-I-REALLY-AM Demelza. And her photo sucked big time and it's because that FUCKING JODHI MEADES likes her that's why she was in the final two. It should have been Samantha+ Alexandra/ Samantha+ Caris/ Alexandra+ Caris. DUH! She does not do anything in her shots. I mean Alice Beadeau did not do that much but at least her photos ROCK. Unlike Demelza and what kind of role model can she be anyway?

Went for the STUPID-TIME-WASTING perfornace at Woodlands and it was like on an OPEN FIELD at the void deck. Look stupid much? DUH. It was PRACTICALLY DEAD there and guess who had to ruin it but none other than I'M-THE-GREATEST Hardy. Fuck la, you don't deserve that name and I think that Hardy-the-Stinkapore-idolII is not such a DIVA. He sang "It's you" and FUCKING FORGOT a part and everyone almost practically screwed up that part. GUESS WHAT? IT WASN'T ENOUGH FOR HIM. He screwed up Sway/ She bangs by singing wrongly at the end. He FUCKING sang MY part AGAIN( even after Adrian told me COUNTLESS time to sing that part correct) and of course why forget him? He's BEST PAL, Anton had to sing wrongly again. He went lower in pitch from the start and it COMPLETELY destroyed me because, I a EFFING GIRL AND I CAN'T SING THAT LOW YOU FUCKING IDIOT. He had to sing the last note wrong also.
FUCK LA. THE SONG STARTED LIKE CRRRRRRRRAP AND ENDED EVEN MORE LIKE CRRRRRRAP.
GO HOME AND FUCKING PRACTICE WILL YOU?!?!?! BOTH OF YOU.

Even more FUCK later in the night. Takoyaki tasted like crap because it was all soggy and all. Stupid malay aunty din't know how to make them. And JAMES...
JAMES. JAMES. JAMES. JAMES. JAMES.
He din't come online again. DAMMIT LA. Like I need you to complain about my woes and you don't come online. And if you do, you come and tell me about stupid atom-smashers and what say...ALIENS?!I wish you were like a normal boy-next-door but NO, you're a science-loving-asperger's kid whom I LOVE. -.- Why? God, why, are you so unfair???

O_O no sleep and I look like that. O_O

2008-09-13T02:23:00.001+08:00

*Sleep__by_miken2kol4u

OMG....I HAD LIKE SO LITTLE SLP OK. Today's lesson was the fundamental question is: What defines identity? I was so tirrrrrred~~~~~~~~ and even after I've eaten brunch I actually felt hungry after our team presented. Maybe too much debating and using of my brain cells + grogginess from lack of sleep + MY EFFING PERIOD CAME!!!!! = I felt really dizzy and I almost bang into the wall and my friend was like, "OMG, are you ok?" and I went yea I'm fine.

After school I was walking from school to the interchange and it was worse because I felt more dizzy and more like fainting??? And I was hurrying to get to the bus interchange so I can like sit down. And upon rushing down the stairs my left slipper like slipped on the stair and I almost fell down the flights of stairs!!!!! THAT FREAKED ME OUT BIG TIME and I bought otah(on a stick) at the shop and ate it on the spot. Felt much better after that and had to cook dinner for my brother, failed at the start-->a bit too salty at the start and after I mixed in the egg and cinnimmon and spring onions it was better....(((=

JAMES'S NOT ONLINE. )))))))))))))))))=

BRITNEY SPEARS

2008-09-12T15:01:00.002+08:00

*2008/09/jayyyy

GUESS WHO'S BAAAAAAAAAAAACK???
YES!!! POP PRINCESS BRITNEY'S BACK B*TCH!

HATE CLASS, HATE HARDY, HATE JAJA MORE

2008-09-08T12:35:00.003+08:00

*SCREAM_by_thesunshotme

OMFG...OMFG.OMFG.OMFG.OMFG.OMFG!!!!!!
I EFFING HATE RP (seeing RED now)!!!!! IT'S EFFING HARD TO STUDY IN RP BECAUSE IT TEACHES US STUDENTS ONE THING. Either to do well or smoke well in our courses and daily lessons. I'm a smoker and quite a lousy one at that too.
"SO EFF YOU RP!"

*prisoner_of_my_own_by_shimoda7

I want to graduate NOW and get back to the conventional way of studying through teachers feeding us with the information and through homework and projects and exams. I should have studied harder and got into a JC, like that I might already be studying in Monash and it will definitely NOT be science that I'll be taking. FOR SURE. Now, I just want to quit school and go for foundation program which my mother will NEVER EVER let me. WHY IN THE F*CK DID I LOCK MY FATE IN LIFE SCIENCES?!??! IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I GOT A B4 IN SCIENCE WITHOUT TRYING?? Hello...moronic idiot Bev, it was CHEM/PHY not BIO!!! NOT EFFING BIO!!!! GEEEEEZ HOW STUPID CAN I GET?!?!? I'M EFFING PLATINIUM BLONDE LA.

My EFFING classmates are SO-SO and some are OK because I know them better. My teammates suck to the core because they are anti-ing me and did not talk to be like more then 10 words, so it's EFF-ED UP.
"I WANT TO TIAO CHAO!!!! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!"
Crazy faci has this stupid point system like the more points you collect the better your daily grade will be so currently I'm the only one in the entire team that has a point as low as 3. The rest of them have like 4-5, and I'm the only one who's got like 3, 3, 3, 3... and they're like 5, 5, 5, 4 or 4, 5, 5, 5 or something like that. I'm EFFING/OMFG?/WTF! pathetic. Little Miss EFFING-OMFG?-WTF!.

Ok, third meeting churned out pretty well but I think I'll still get like a f*cking C for GAWD's (I din't say God) sake. Damnit la... And thanks to my classmates who helped out when the faci posed a question to us and it turned out it's a team question and I MORONICALLY DID NOT KNOW THE ANSWER TO. And what a EFF-ed up RJ he gave us... passed up a CRAPPY one to him.
"URRRG."<<----vomitting sound. ~!@#$%^&^%@ hate RP.

-TRAINING-

*Mic_by_DropTheBomb123

HAD LIKE EFFING TRAINING (for STUPID PERFORMANCE THAT MAKE ME MISS FRIEND'S CONCERT.) AND HARDY WAS A !@#$%^&*(*&^%$# ASSHOLE, INSUFFERIBLE BOOTLICKER AND MR MY-HEAD-IS-TOO-BIG. BECAUSE HE EFFING TRIED TO BE IN CHARGED AND GUESS WHAT???
HA-HA-HA-HEEEHAAAAWWWWWWW HEEEHAAAAAWWWW......
YOU'RE GAWD-DAMN THICK ARENT YOU?? YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR OWN PART AND TRY TO TAKE EVERYTHING INTO YOUR OWN HANDS. SAYING WHAT I'M SINGING YOUR PART. WHO WANTS TO SING YOUR STUPID PART. MORONIC SPAAZZZZZZZ.

So going home was like CRRRRRRRRRAP because EFFING passengers pushed their way up the bus even when they din't wait in queue. Felt like EFFING SHOUTING FOR THEM TO BE CIVILISED. !@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@-ERS!
*wah!!!! I've not spoken to JAJA in the longest time and I EFFING miss him LOADS!!! ))= sure he's seen me when I was invisible but what's the use when I'm invisible to him now???!
JAJAAAAAA!!!!! IT'S BEEN FOUR -heart breaking- DAYS WITHOUT YOU!!!!

WHERE ARE YOU?!?!

Anyway...I found solace in hunting for more penpals!!!
I emailed like 4 to like, 4 ENGLISHMEN!!! AND 1 TO A KOREAN!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! EXCITED!!!! HAHAHHA...
***Mag and I caucasian hunters!

huh?!

2008-09-07T23:18:00.004+08:00

*I_hate_u__by_purplerainistaken

Underneath all the "I hate you"s there is still love. Well maybe not full-on, I'll-die-for-you kinda love but yeah...it's still love. Missing him like ÜBER much... it's been three days since I've talked/IM/chatted with him...So yeah... Missing him LOADS. Furthermore, he's started school tomorrow and it's gonna be REALLY hard for us to talk/IM/chat with him as he might still be in school at 3-5pm-HIS-/10pm-12am-MINE- so....)))= I'm not gonna stay up to wait for him no more... why cant HE do the waiting?? SO EFFING DISAPPOINTED LA.

Watched the Jack Neo flick and cried like LOADS at the end because it reminded me of my late grandpa..my Ah Gong...))= *sobs*

correction

2008-09-07T01:11:00.002+08:00

O.O correction. Dint get to talk to JAMES today as well.

Surreality??

2008-09-06T22:40:00.005+08:00

*Girl_and_the_Bird_by_janina

Girl and the bird... Kinda surreal aye? That was what my lesson on friday was about. It was about philosophy, logic and...REASONING THROUGH THE AGES---> which IS basically the name of the module. We had the whole class going on about like some of the fundamental questions which basically told us what this WHOLE module is all about. Which is reasoning through questions and theory and logic which had no model answers to, and will not have for probably forever. Oh...note: Some *bee-yotches in class too.

I did not get to talk to James last night and I had like the WORST first day of school EVER. Only slept like what, 2 hours?? (weirdly enough after James told me to like have a good dream? EH????) And had like the most WORST cased scenario anyone can ever have. Being embarrassed in front of a live band-on stage performing- by my friends because I thought that the mallet guy was like SUPER CUTE. He's got like sparkling eyes and the NICEST, SWEETEST smile I've like EVER seen. The normal DRAGGING-OF-ME routine kicked into high gear and they dragged me to take a photo with him. Strangely enough, the saxophonist thought it was HIM that I liked. OMG LA...SHAMELESS. XYLOPHONE-cuteness was like waiting at one side to take a photo( I think?) and they my friends were like pointing at me and him!!!!!! HAHAHA...Took a photo anyway~~

Playing the Thai xylophone, here's Mr Gorgeous-eyes+smile!!! Look at the cute bell bottoms!!!
(ignore the full-of-himself saxophonist's hand)

HAHAHA...Here's Mr Gorgeous-eyes+smile himself with meeee~~
(Gawd, I look ODDLY weird here)
Stupid hand! Beats hand down. EEEEKK!!
He's got like NICE HANDS!!!!
xDDDDDD

----@ night----
JAJA WASNT ONLINE SO...EFF IT!!!!!!!
!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@@#$
I'll just dream about Mr Gorgeous-eyes+smile!!!! x)))

Favourite Song of all time!!!
Apologise by Timbaland ft. One Republic

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

Bridge (guitar/piano)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

confused?

2008-09-04T23:09:00.003+08:00

*lycanthropy_by_popsongs

If y'all are curious what "lycanthropy" means, it basically means that a human has the ability to transform into a wolf or to have wolf-like characteristics. Cool right, it was one of the top deviants from Deviantart.com. I thought it kinda describe me today...the picture not it's title. I feel kinda unsure about things yet there is a stray of happiness to it because ♥JAJA's starting to show some kinds of emotions?? He's leaving me offline message when I do not get online or when he does not get online so... ((= thumbs up, but thumbs down to him getting later and later. I guess he's late today because he's going to the arts collage to pay for his fees as he's starting school soon. He's like doing some media thingy...OMG, coolness!

HAHAHHA...COOLNESS OK, Freda and I have like the same taste in GUYS and she, like me am tired of SG guys!! Is that cool or what? And we like HIGH-5ED so many times today!!! AWESOMENESS!! OK, I WANT TO KNOW HER ANGMOH FRIENDS. LIKE NOW!!! If I were to move to U.K and she too, we'll like LIVE TGT!!! AHAHHAHAHAHHAHA....AWESOME! [aussie accent] We're learning Candyman and When you wish upon a star!!! HEHEHHEHE...And we had like a vocal range session today, like FINALLY!!!!! I'm still where I am, Sop1/Sop2. HAHAHHA...AWESOME.

I FOUND THE PHONE THAT I WANT!!!!!!!

IT'S EFFING COOL!!!! -Aussie accent-
SO WANNA GET THIS MOBILE!!! IT'S SO MUCH LIKE T-MOBILE'S SIDEKICK PHONE! It's lyk 12:06AM and ♥JAJA's still not online so....I'm like gonna zzz soon because I've got school at 8:15am today. HAHAHA...coolness la! Friday school then "holidays" again because it's Sat and Sun!!! AHAHHAHA....xDDDDD
12:12am and ♥JAJA's online...HELLO?!?! HAHAHHA...I'M GOING OFFLINE SOON!!!

Revalation

2008-09-04T00:19:00.002+08:00

OK coolness~ found this weird vlogger on the internet because he's such a FANTASTIC comedian and I've become his fan on FACEBOOK. He's HAWT ALRIGHT. Look him up on Youtube by typing "Frezned" on the search bar. He's like extremely HAWT after his hairdye session where he was acting kinda GAY ( I seriously hope he's NOT). Love him in his DARK DARK, EMO HAIR...Here a picture of Mr HAWTNESS himself!

AND GUESS WHAT??! HE'S AUSTRALIAN!!!! OMG...How cool is that?? HAHAHHAA...Here I am drooling about some person I do not know about (even his name). BUT WHO CARES?! HE'S HAWT IN DARK HAIR! AND LOVE HIS ACCENT!!!!

GO AUS!!!!

I spend the entire day at home and it was really borring and all...BORED. And now I'm watching AusNTM and it's FANTASTIC. I'm so STOKED that Jordan got through! xD How I wish I could be like 1.78 and then I can be a model. AN EFFING MODEL.

Time: 1238am
♥JAJA's not online YET. HELLO???? I thought you said that you've got nothing on? How come hes not online!??!? T_T I'm going to bed after AusNTM Finale. YEAP. HRRUMPH.

2008-09-03T01:52:00.002+08:00

*Emo__by_redundant1

Had the most TERRIBLE sleep ever yesterday because it was practically NO SLEEP. I was tossing and turning in bed, drifting in and out of sleep until it was like dawn= 7++ in the morning. Then it hit me, I TOTALLY forgot to pray last night, which is the second time now that cause me insomnia. How weird is that?!?! Not praying actually cause insomnia for me!! WHOA~
Like seriously, WHOA~

I said a quick prayer drifting in and out of sleep because I was lyk EFFING tired and finally slept like 4 hours before being woken up crudely to the sound of my alarm, as I'm meeting friends in school. I rushed like MAD because I was late and in the end became later when this idiot from GREAT EASTERN wanted to make me sign up for this stupid bank thingy and I just did it all to like stop him from pestering me. URG. Reached school 1/2 hour late only to realise that my friends are like NOT there yet. RAWRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! LATENESS!!!! Could have slept 1/2 hour more!!
~!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!@#$%*&^$!!!!!!!!!!

In the end spent the whole afternoon+ night rotting in the library and cafe and TRCC cafe and CWP. Only going home at like 1030pm in the night and reaching at 11++ only to find that JAJA had left me an offline-y. HAHAHA...I was lyk filtering through fatigue+ ♥JAJA not being online for 2 days+ EMO+ no appetite the entire day. So I was like a work of art, having gone a WEE bit mad after dinner and acting like a drunk with my friends. Saying that if I were drunk and ♥JAJA were to be there I'll pole dance with him. HAHAHAHA...OMGNESS..And he'll be all patient and caring to me~~~ xDDD *wishful thinking...but hoping that'll happen in real life.
My PRINCE!!! Xpppppppp

Time:313AM Wednesday///
Still IM-ing ♥JAJA...

Time:330AM Wednesday///
♥JAJA's telling me to sleep! HAHAHHA...SO SWEET!!! Lookie~~

♥JAJA: hehe
♥JAJA: learning Mandarin first is like learning Latin before learning French, Spanish and Italian
♥JAJA: or learning Sanskrit before learning the Indian languages
♥JAJA: anyway I sense you are getting close to falling asleep, so I would advise sleeping to avoid being zombielike tomorrow morning
♥JAJA: It must be about 3am
♥JAJA: for you
Beverly Lin sihui: haha..330
♥JAJA: ah
Beverly Lin sihui: im zombie-ing now
Beverly Lin sihui: hahah
♥JAJA: what time do you have to wake up?
Beverly Lin sihui: erm...ive got no sch n nothing on tmr.....soooooo
Beverly Lin sihui: hahahhaah
♥JAJA: anyway, I advise you sleep now, and try not to think of those UFOs I told you about
♥JAJA: like I said before, think of good things instead
Beverly Lin sihui: haha..okk~~ i will!!!
Beverly Lin sihui: xDD

♥JAJA: and try and block the alien signal out with a thought signal of your own
♥JAJA: thoughts of birds singing on a lovely day perhas
Beverly Lin sihui: x))) i will~~ tink of things tt'll make me smile!!! x)) [DUH!! ONLY HIM LA!]
♥JAJA: thats the way
Beverly Lin sihui: okk..i'll go to bed now~~ Hope to talk to u tmr!!!! x))
♥JAJA: I think I will be on tomorrow
♥JAJA: I will see you then
Beverly Lin sihui: cya!!!
♥JAJA: bye
Beverly Lin sihui: bye~
♥JAJA: (= [eeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! IT'S LYK ONCE IN A BLUE MOON FOR A SMILEY TO APPEAR!!!!]

dreamer...♥just a dreamerღ

03- 04- 2009*4월 3일 2009년

WORK F-ING SUCKS. April 5, 2009

2 best dramas in the world!

OMB. OH MY BORING.

Time and tide waits for no (wo)men.

Oh Happy Day.

BFFs outing!

platonic friends?

Trustworthiness

Miss you more?

Can't lose myself

fragments of my FUCKED-UP life

NOVEMBER THE SEVENTEEN, TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHT

WHAT?!

mesmerized

OKKKKKK WOW!??!?!

confused.

without specs

xDDDD

Windows

Deranged?! I'm not unstable am I?

What.

W-T-F?!

The rest of it bfore I went to bed.

WHAT?!?! HUH?!?!

Sent this too!

Laugh or Cry?

He's response.

Unclothed and Honest

FIRST Vlog!

*rock star.

ZHNGED

WHISTLE REGISTER!

L-O-V-E?

PISSED.

internal protest.

Crazy lil' thing called love

My ivy covered lamp.

Gladia...WHAT?!

Leggings as pants?

He NEEDS to apologise

Chromatic thoughts

new YORK NEW york

Get out of my head.

HE FUCKING CURSED ME.

Problem Statement: Is there hope?

What happens to a stress-stricken girl

Crystalline

What is love?

*star*bucks?

FIEEEEEEEEEERCCCCCCE!

Fun @ POPO's

GRILL!!!! GRILL!!!! GRILL!!!! GRILL!!!! GRILL!!!!

WOOTS.

hart to trust

Blue Lenses!!!

Amen to ANGMOHS. ANG MOHS PARADISE

it's an EFFING day

O_O no sleep and I look like that. O_O

BRITNEY SPEARS

HATE CLASS, HATE HARDY, HATE JAJA MORE

huh?!

correction

Surreality??

confused?

Revalation

starbucks?